Psalm 37:4

Remember Nhu

2012-02-12T16:12:00.000-05:00

For more information about Remember Nhu and its ministry, please go to their website and learn how you can contribute to this important cause.

The Story of Remember Nhu

The 501(c)(3) organization known as Remember Nhu exists to eliminate the exploitation of children in the sex trade industry throughout the world.

Remember Nhu was conceived in 2003-2004 by Carl Ralston of Akron, Ohio. In November 2003, Ralston was attending a conference hosted by the Christian and Missionary Alliance in Cambodia when he was made aware of the horrific problem of child sex trafficking. Particularly striking was the story of Chup Ly, a 16 year-old who was sold into the sex-slave trade and died three years later of AIDS.

After telling Chup Ly’s story, the missionary speaker then told of Nhu, a 12-year-old girl who had committed her life to Jesus Christ, was baptized, grew as a Christian, and began to share publicly her faith. However, a Buddhist family member then sold her virginity, partly as an act of disapproval of Nhu’s conversion to Christ. At that time, the missionary did not know what had become of Nhu. Ralston felt inspired by God to “Remember Nhu” and in December of 2003 committed to God that he would do everything in his power to eliminate the use of children in the sex trade industry around the world.

In 2004, Ralston finished a master’s degree in Religion in which his final project created Remember Nhu: a ministry that would prevent children from entering the sex trade by meeting the physical, emotional, education, and spiritual needs of potential victims.

Oh, and Nhu? She is now safe and became the first official employee of Remember Nhu! She manages Agape Beauty Salon in Cambodia, which employees other young women who, without the intervention of Remember Nhu, may also have been sold into the child sex trade. Many of their customers at the beauty salon are young ladies who have been sold into prostitution, and Nhu and the others are able to share with them the amazing love of Jesus.

About Remember Nhu

Remember Nhu exists to prevent the exploitation of children in the sex trade industry throughout the world.

Four objectives keep us anchored to that vision…

Meeting physical needs: Children with little to no shelter or food and not even basic medical care are at risk of being sold. Meeting the physical needs of children protects them from the sex trade.
Meeting educational needs: When honest, sustained work is an actual possibility, the financial allure of the sex trade industry lessens immensely. A quality education and/or practical vocational training gives children the means to opportunities for a future.
Meeting emotional needs: Children disconnected from the loving care of concerned, responsible adults are at risk. To grow and nurture children inside the love of a family protects them from the sex trade.
Meeting spiritual needs: Children deprived of any real, lasting hope are at risk. When introduced to the incomparable love of Jesus Christ, children are introduced to a new and accurate vision of themselves: that they are of deep, intrinsic, and eternal value. Nurturing children into mature disciples of Jesus Christ protects them from the sex trade.

Nhu now serves with the organization that shares her name, working tirelessly to prevent other children from being trafficked.

How To Glorify God

2012-01-28T00:27:00.000-05:00

Every day that we live is a day of opportunity. There are many different events within the day that, when they are all lumped together, make up the events that summarize your day of opportunity. The mini-events have such an effect where we can conclude that the overall day was “a good one” or “a bad one,” and we readily recognize days where there are triumphs, successes, and, of course, setbacks or tragedies. We often measure our personal progress in segments that are broken down to the days we live, but we need to always remember that personal success or failure are not to be the defining measurement of our life. Our true success is in how we glorify God in everything that we do.

When we look at the things that we do each day, we don’t often think about glorifying God in what we do. We don’t, for example, look at the act of brushing our teeth as a way of glorifying God, but consider that your good habits of caring for your teeth will keep your healthy and make a contribution towards your overall appearance as you do your work for the Lord! When we look at this verse, it gives greater evidence to the fact that the Lord wants you to have the same focus in everything you do:

Colossians 3:23-24

²³ Whatever you do, do it enthusiastically, as something done for the Lord and not for men, ²⁴ knowing that you will receive the reward of an inheritance from the Lord. You serve the Lord Christ.

This includes everything that you do in work, in leisure, at home, at the grocery store—everywhere that you go. This involves a lifestyle of living eagerly for Christ—and it means that everything that you do will reflect your love for the Lord. It will be evident in your appearance, your speech, and your actions. You are a living testimony for Jesus Christ, and it will be evident to everyone who sees you. All of your words and actions will, in turn, glorify God!

Your approach to your life has a profound effect on how you glorify God. If you wake up every day “on the wrong side of the bed,” your focus will often reflect on negativity rather than on being positive or having a favorable outlook on life. Your approach to life is often about your attitude. A person with an attitude problem is more focused on self and all of the issues surrounding the cause of the attitude than on doing anything enthusiastically for the Lord. Your attitude will invariably have a positive or negative impact on your day of opportunity.

In order to maximize your ability to glorify God in everything that you do, it is important for you to develop a living philosophy and approach to each day. This is not about reading more self-help books or looking for something that the world offers about feeling good about yourself, but there is a lot to be said about the importance of confidence in who you are and what you do, and that confidence comes with your understanding of who Jesus Christ is in your life and the loyalty that you have for Christ because of what He has done for you.

1 Peter 2:24

He Himself bore our sins
in His body on the tree,
so that, having died to sins,
we might live for righteousness;
you have been healed by His wounds.

Remember that everything that you do or say is because of your healthy relationship with Jesus Christ. He is working within you as you work through Him, which, in turn, brings Him glory.

Philippians 2:13

For it is God who is working in you, enabling you both to desire and to work out His good purpose.

Philippians 4:13

I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me.

Glorifying God to the best of your ability consists of three important elements:

1.) Being yourself

To be yourself is not the essence of living any way you want to as we are addressing it here, for to do so means that you are focusing more upon self than upon God. Being yourself is about living as the very person that God created you to be. To be who you are in Christ is the opposite of living in your own strength or ability, or even living in such a way where you are conforming to the expectations of others. God would rather that you not listen to what your friends or family say that you should be, but instead would rather that you would be obedient to His Word and to His will as you live your life. He knows you better that anyone else does, and He reminds you over and over how much He values you as a person:

Psalm 139:13-16

¹³ For it was You who created my inward parts;
You knit me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴ I will praise You
because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made.
Your works are wonderful,
and I know this very well.
¹⁵ My bones were not hidden from You
when I was made in secret,
when I was formed in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶ Your eyes saw me when I was formless;
all my days were written in Your book and planned
before a single one of them began.

Ephesians 2:10

For we are His creation, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time so that we should walk in them.

You should also be yourself because God knows your heart, which indicates your sincerity in your relationship with Him as you perform your daily routine.

1 Samuel 16:7

But the LORD said to Samuel, “Do not look at his appearance or his stature, because I have rejected him. Man does not see what the LORD sees, for man sees what is visible, but the LORD sees the heart.”

2.) Use your gifts and talents

Since God created you to be yourself, He gave you certain gifts and talents that He wants you to use and develop in order to be a living testimony—which will glorify God as you use your gifts.

Romans 12:6-8

⁶ According to the grace given to us, we have different gifts:

If prophecy,
use it according to the standard of one’s faith;
⁷ if service, in service;
if teaching, in teaching;
⁸ if exhorting, in exhortation;
giving, with generosity;
leading, with diligence;
showing mercy, with cheerfulness.

Notice that our gifts are to be used with humility but also with the confidence that our gifts promote a position of leadership in our ministry for the Lord. You don’t have to be a leader in your group to exhibit leadership qualities. Those who are great in hospitality are performing acts of service, but it is in those acts of service you are exhibiting leadership as a member of the body of Christ. Your acts cannot help but glorify Him because you are using your gifts for Him.

3.) Seek excellence in everything you do

As you live and grow each day, you discover that there is always room for even more growth and more improvement. Life is meant to be a learning experience, and if you continue to find ways to grow in the use of your gifts and talents, you will continue to glorify God in your actions. It is when you believe that there’s nothing more that you can do to improve how you do your work that there is less humility in your way of thinking and there is more self-centeredness in your approach to life. The person who yields to the Spirit in everything that they do will conform and act according to the Spirit. If you are seeking the best in everything you do for the Lord, you are open to learn and grow for God’s glory.

Proverbs 16:3

Commit your activities to the LORD,
and your plans will be achieved.

Matthew 5:14-16

¹⁴ “You are the light of the world. A city situated on a hill cannot be hidden. ¹⁵No one lights a lamp and puts it under a basket, but rather on a lampstand, and it gives light for all who are in the house. ¹⁶ In the same way, let your light shine before men, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.

Your good works will glorify God as you seek excellence in everything that you do. If we always remember that God wants not only the best for us but also for each of us to be the best that we can be, we will glorify God in everything that we do. Our best for Him comes through the realization that He loves us.

Spring Break 2012: God's Love Languages For Your Life!

2012-01-22T00:21:00.002-05:00

Spring Break 2012

Akron Alliance Fellowship Church's Relationship Conference Series continues this year with discussion about how God speaks in His special way to you:

: Hosted by Melvin Gaines

God's Love Languages for Your Life

A special weekend retreat for everyone where you can rest, relax, renew and recharge!

Everyone has at least one love language. Do you know yours? Marriage counselor Dr. Gary Chapman first introduced The Five Love Languages almost 20 years ago. Today, love languages are not just for married couples…they are also relevant to you and your own personal relationship with Jesus Christ! Knowing how you can best hear God speaking to you will only help you to grow and understand more about your relationship! Our seminar will explore all of these languages and give you insight into your communication with God that you may not have realized before! With your participation, this relationship seminar promises to be a fun, relaxing and fulfilling experience! Singles and married couples are welcome!

Friday, April 20 and Saturday, April 21, 2012

Hampton Inn, Stow OH

4331 Lakepointe Corporate Drive • 330.945.4160

Special room rate for overnight stay only $79.00 plus tax. When booking your room ask for the Akron Alliance Fellowship Church special rate. Please book your room reservation by Tuesday, March 20 (maximum of 4 guests per room). A free hot breakfast is available for hotel guests. Free internet • pool • fitness center • comfortable amenities • newly remodeled • restaurants nearby

Availability will go quickly! Be sure to register today!

New Year's Resolution: Reading The Bible Daily

2011-12-31T12:04:00.000-05:00

I have challenged myself recently to find a way--in the midst of my daily routine--to read the Bible each day. It's important for me, personally, to do this because (1) I teach Sunday school and I speak from the pulpit when I'm called upon, and (2) it would be silly for me to tell others that reading the Bible daily is important while I'm not doing my best to keep that same commitment.

I have seen a lot of different Bible plans that provide good direction for reading, but I have found that the best fit for me is a two year bible reading plan. The plan comes from The Two Year Bible, which was published by Tyndale back in 2001 (there are other similar two year plans now available just by searching online, as well). If you don't currently have a plan, this may be just what you need to get started!

Why two years to read the entire Bible? The simple reason is that you are much more likely to be successful with a workable plan in the long run if you can keep your commitment to get through it. The one year Bible plans that are available are fine if you can commit 15 minutes per day to reading (and that doesn't include prayer time). Staying with a one year plan is admirable, but it's not practical for everyone. The two year plan that I am following takes about half of the time each day as a one year plan, and it promotes a greater consistency for those persons who are regularly balancing their time with an active lifestyle. Since we have the desire to read The Word each day because of its goodness (1 Peter 2:2; Job 23:12; Psalm 119:11), it's good to get into a plan that will allow us to be successful in the long term. While it's great to be able to start the plan on January 1, it's not a requirement--just start the plan on the appropriate calendar date where you are and keep going from there...you can still cover the entire Bible in two years from when you start the plan. Even if you miss a day or two with the two year plan, you are not so far behind that you can't get caught up with your reading. Your level of commitment will help you to have fewer missed days and experience much more success and progress in your reading--leading to a better relationship with God.

I have separated the two year plan into 12 separate documents that each cover two months of dates throughout the reading plan. The documents refer to year one and year two and it doesn't matter which year you start with first. You may prefer to select year one for years that end in an odd number and year two for even number years...the great thing about this plan is that it doesn't matter where you start...just get it started and stay with it once you do!

Here are links to the two year plan in Word document format in order that you can print and keep these with you for use with your favorite Bible:

Akron Alliance Fellowship Church - Two Year Bible Reading Plan

Melvin Gaines Professional Speaker Services - Who am I? (links on this page)

Start off the New Year the right way by getting closer to God in His Word...daily. Remember to always accompany your readings with consistent prayer as to how He is speaking to you. May God bless you in your progress with your reading and in your relationship with Him.

Rest In The Lord - Sermon (MP3 Audio)

2011-12-20T23:08:00.001-05:00

The audio for my sermon, Rest In The Lord, presented at Akron Alliance Fellowship Church on Sunday, December 11, 2011 is now available.

Each link is available for a free download. These are links to mp3 files that are sent to your email for a one-time download. The total message length is approximately 60 minutes. You can view the text of this message here.

This message was inspired through the Spirit during a quiet day off from work. When its very quiet, its a great time to focus on your time of communication with the Lord. Use your time, when you have it, wisely.

http://www.filehosting.org/file/details/295111/01_Rest_in_The_Lord_-_Part_1.mp3

http://www.filehosting.org/file/details/295114/02_Rest_in_The_Lord_-_Part_2.mp3

http://www.filehosting.org/file/details/295115/03_Rest_in_The_Lord_-_Part_3.mp3

http://www.filehosting.org/file/details/295117/04_Rest_in_The_Lord_-_Part_4.mp3

http://www.filehosting.org/file/details/295118/05_Rest_in_The_Lord_-_Part_5.mp3

http://www.filehosting.org/file/details/295119/06_Rest_in_The_Lord_-_Part_6_&_Conclusion.mp3

Copyright © Melvin Gaines. All rights reserved.

Rest in The Lord

2011-12-11T14:54:00.001-05:00

For many of us, there is no such thing as a slow time of the year, and the holiday season is no exception to that. Everything that we are involved in seems to move at a rapid pace. There are timelines and deadlines, ever-present breaking news events, instant communication through emails and social media, and ever-increasing expectations to do more with less, even when we aren’t at work.

As busy as we can be, our moments of leisure, such as a vacation, or even a day off from work, are very precious to us. These are the times when we can rest our bodies, take a deep breath, and enjoy the change of scenery or surroundings, or even get a nap or two in when we need it most. If only those moments wouldn’t go by so quickly!

Our time of rest is indeed precious to us. God knows that this time is special. While it is good for all of us to work (2 Thessalonians 3:10) and remain busy in service for Him, it is still a necessity that we make time for some down time. In our time of rest, we are to use it to our benefit. We need to regularly refresh and recharge our batteries, for it helps each of us to see life in a way where we can appreciate what we have instead of what we don’t have. It is a time to focus on the peace of the moment and on where God is in your life.

The best opportunities of reflecting upon God come when we are less busy—it’s very difficult to do when we are very busy. While we are to never put Him to the side while we are at work, we are best able to learn about Him during our moments of rest. What you will find is that the moments of rest are His preferred time for each of us to rest in Him and in His Word. The more that we see His best during our rest, the more we will see His presence at all times during our life.

God uses the time we spend in Him to communicate with us, and to give us a reassurance of His presence. He gives us what we need, and when we need it most.

Deuteronomy 7:9

Know that Yahweh your God is God, the faithful God who keeps His gracious covenant loyalty for a thousand generations with those who love Him and keep His commands.

Psalm 119:102-105

I have not turned from Your judgments,
for You Yourself have instructed me.

¹⁰³ How sweet Your word is to my taste—
[sweeter] than honey to my mouth.

¹⁰⁴ I gain understanding from Your precepts;
therefore I hate every false way.

¹⁰⁵ Your word is a lamp for my feet
and a light on my path.

In the same way that we need rest after a very long and busy day, we need God’s promises to bolster us and gives us encouragement through these moments, and even through those times when things are not going very well. If we are being oppressed, falsely accused, or even persecuted, we are not going through those experiences alone. God is aware of everything that we go through, sees it all, and provides encouragement that helps us to endure it.

Deuteronomy 31:6, 8

Be strong and courageous; don't be terrified or afraid of them. For it is the LORD your God who goes with you; He will not leave you or forsake you. The LORD is the One who will go before you. He will be with you; He will not leave you or forsake you. Do not be afraid or discouraged."

Psalm 55:22

Cast your burden on the LORD,
and He will support you;
He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.

Psalm 27:13-14

¹³ I am certain that I will see the LORD's goodness
in the land of the living.

¹⁴ Wait for the LORD;
be courageous and let your heart be strong.
Wait for the LORD.

When we slow down from a busy life pace, we can best hear God speaking to us. Our time of rest should also be a time of recovery, and a time of healing.

Matthew 11:28-30

²⁸ "Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹ All of you, take up My yoke and learn from Me, because I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for yourselves. ³⁰ For My yoke is easy and My burden is light."

Jesus Christ encourages the state of being at rest, because, in His wisdom, He relates to us that He is the true source of our rest. We readily need rest from our hectic life, our troubles, and our difficulties, and He encourages us to seek Him for that rest. One area of that rest in Christ is communication with Him through prayer:

Philippians 4:6-7

⁶ Don't worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Psalm 107:28-30

²⁸ Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble,
and He brought them out of their distress.

²⁹ He stilled the storm to a murmur,
and the waves of the sea were hushed.

³⁰ They rejoiced when the waves grew quiet.
Then He guided them to the harbor they longed for.

Matthew 7:7

"Keep asking, and it will be given to you. Keep searching, and you will find. Keep knocking, and the door will be opened to you.

Matthew 21:22

And if you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer."

Mark 11:24

Therefore, I tell you, all the things you pray and ask for —believe that you have received them, and you will have them.

John 14:13-14

¹³ Whatever you ask in My name, I will do it so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. ¹⁴ If you ask Me anything in My name, I will do it.

In addition to prayer, your rest in the Lord is fulfilled when you have faith that God is responsive to your prayers and that you exercise complete trust…your trust and faith in the Lord is when you realize the true rest that Christ provides. It is rest with confidence in Christ’s ability.

1 John 5:14-15

¹⁴ Now this is the confidence we have before Him: whenever we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. ¹⁵ And if we know that He hears whatever we ask, we know that we have what we have asked Him for.

Another aspect of rest in the Lord is that He communicates with us in response to our prayers and provides insight to His will with guidance and direction.

Psalm 32:8

I will instruct you and show you the way to go;
with My eye on you, I will give counsel.

Proverbs 3:1-6

¹ My son, don't forget my teaching,
but let your heart keep my commands;

² for they will bring you
many days, a full life, and well-being.

³ Never let loyalty and faithfulness leave you.
Tie them around your neck;
write them on the tablet of your heart.

⁴ Then you will find favor and high regard
in the sight of God and man.

⁵ Trust in the LORD with all your heart,
and do not rely on your own understanding;

⁶ think about Him in all your ways,
and He will guide you on the right paths.

Resting in the Lord is more than just a state of mind and mere relaxation. It is actually our best opportunity to slow our life pace down to recognize His true goodness. He gives us much more than just rest. He gives us a time of reflection through His word. We are assured of:

His very presence
His encouragement through His Word
His communication with us through prayer

With these things, we have a confidence that He responds to us and that He will guide us through each and every situation and circumstance. Our true rest in the Lord is our complete faith and trust in Him.

Expert: Tim Tebow Overshadowing Several Of NFL's Other Religious Players

2011-12-06T11:57:00.000-05:00

Don't underestimate how God is using Tim Tebow to get the truth of the gospel to those who are hungry for the good news! Here is an article that keeps the conversation fresh... Expert: Tim Tebow Overshadowing Several Of NFL's Other Religious Players

Emerging From a Spiritual Dry Spell - Sermon (MP3 Audio)

2011-11-25T22:30:00.001-05:00

Emerging From a Spiritual Dry Spell

2011-11-12T23:06:00.001-05:00

When I’m called upon to present a sermon, I always pray for guidance as to what will be presented on the appointed date. Even in the midst of prayerful consideration, sometimes the subject or topic turns out to be difficult to execute in the form of a message. More often than not, the messages that I have presented are related to issues of life or circumstances that guide me in my writing. This message is guided by more of a mindset than any one topic or issue. The mindset comes from being in a bit of a spiritual dry spell. It is a learning experience, and, as I have learned, it’s not a bad thing, either.

First, all of us have been through moments of what I would call a spiritual dry spell. It is not necessarily an experience that one would go out of their way to be in, nor is it something to look forward to. The dry spell is the perception that you are somewhere within a great moment in your spiritual life and a lousy moment where you experience all-out defeat. The phrase “dry spell” implies a period where there is a thirst for something, or a need for a quenching of that thirst. You can fill in the blank for what this means to you, but without putting words in your mouth, I describe a dry spell as a period where you’re moving through life, coming and going, but nothing extraordinary seems to be happening. Again, this is a perception more than it is reality. Things SEEM to be rather ordinary. If you were to stop and pay attention to the different elements of your dry spell, you might be surprised at what you find, or perhaps you may not even realize how you, in your ho-hum moments, are actually still performing in a Christ-like manner as others observe your behavior or actions.

If you get nothing else out of this, please note that a spiritual dry spell is an opportunity for growth and for learning…learning about yourself, learning more about Jesus Christ and the workings of the Holy Spirit, and learning about how can respond effectively when things don’t seem quite right. There’s no special trigger that causes these dry spells, but the foundation of a dry spell is a lack of spiritual moisture…not necessarily like that of a desert or wilderness experience, but it should be noted that the symptoms of the experience may be similar, which we will discuss in a moment. A dry spell may be, for example, evidentiary in your daily experiences moving so fast and furious that your body, and especially your mind are traveling faster than you can keep up with the pace of life. When this occurs, your spiritual experiences can get lost in all of the movement. Even the most saintly believers in Jesus Christ need to adapt to the daily challenges of life. Now, please understand that this is a unique experience for me, and it may not apply to everyone. In fact, a dry spell can mean different things to different people. What all believers do have in common, however, is that each of us has an understanding of what it is to have faith and trust in God through Jesus Christ. We also know the importance of trusting in the end results and not rest in the immediacy or difficulty of the moment. This is especially true for those of us when going through a spiritual dry spell. Faith and trust in Jesus Christ means that we serve a God that never changes. He is always consistent and always present in all areas of our life.

Hebrews 13:5-6

Your life should be free from the love of money. Be satisfied with what you have, for He Himself has said, I will never leave you or forsake you. ⁶Therefore, we may boldly say:

The Lord is my helper;

I will not be afraid.

What can man do to me?

The key to this verse is always remembering it to be the truth, even when things seem completely crazy.

If you haven’t already picked up on this, you may see that a spiritual dry spell is often rooted in the attitude of the host. Sometimes we’re not at our best when our attitude is not so great. It’s little wonder, of course, that your perception of the world changes when your attitude about life changes; therefore, a spiritual dry spell may require an attitude adjustment. That is not meant to be a negative comment, but the result is still the same…we need to be mindful of the things that affect our outlook on life and pay attention to what God has done to bring us where we are today, and that He is without limits and has no restrictions as to where we can go as long as we have faith and trust in Him and in His Word.

Numbers 11:23

The LORD answered Moses, "Is the LORD's power limited? You will see whether or not what I have promised will happen to you."

In fact, even in the midst of our dryness, our faith and trust in God surpass our limits of human reasoning.

Isaiah 55:8

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
and your ways are not My ways."
[This is] the LORD's declaration.

Whether you are experiencing a spiritual dry spell or if things don’t seem to be going right, it is always a good idea to do a self-assessment as to what is not quite right with your attitude and take the steps to make it right. This would apply in virtually every area of our spiritual life. There must always be the focus and approach as to how we can best be obedient to God and His Word, and remain in His will.

First, it takes recognition that something needs to change in your daily routine. How often have you found that you have done something that is not necessarily helpful to you, and yet you continue to do the same thing from time to time. The only way that you will stop doing the same thing is to make a point to make a change. How true is this when it comes to sin, for example? The Holy Spirit will readily point out when you sin, and you will readily sin again unless you make it a point to pray for strength and seek the Lord to resist temptation to commit that sin.

Psalm 39:1

I said, "I will guard my ways
so that I may not sin with my tongue;
I will guard my mouth with a muzzle
as long as the wicked are in my presence."

Psalm 119:10-12

¹⁰ I have sought You with all my heart;
don't let me wander from Your commands.

¹¹ I have treasured Your word in my heart
so that I may not sin against You.

¹² LORD, may You be praised;
teach me Your statutes.

Making a change requires the need to bring oneself out of the malaise—and taking the action steps to implement the change.

Next, let’s examine those action steps that need to be taken. It’s important for each of us, once we recognize the need to change, to allow for the Holy Spirit to speak to you and allow Him to be your Compass—your Guide for direction. The steps that may occur for each individual may be different, but the essentials for each person involve the following:

God’s Word in the form of daily devotions and readings
Prayer to God to reflect upon what God is saying to you

In this, you will see the importance of making sure that your attitude is not being compounded with issues of sin or spiritual indifference. This goes back to what the verse of Psalm 119:11 presents as you allow God’s Word to move you out of your spiritual dry spell. Please note that this needs to be a consistent effort that should occur over a period of days, and perhaps even weeks, in order to truly see some progress.

Note that the devotions and prayer time force you to slow down long enough to hear God speaking to you through His Word. Your best “listening” experiences are when you are not being distracted by the noises of the world.

There are key elements of your action plans that will help you to overcome your spiritual dry spell. These keys to success are simple to remember if not always easy to implement:

Faith

Hebrews 11:1

Now faith is the reality of what is hoped for, the proof of what is not seen.

Luke 8:24-25

²⁴ They came and woke Him up, saying, "Master, Master, we're going to die!" Then He got up and rebuked the wind and the raging waves. So they ceased, and there was a calm. ²⁵ He said to them, "Where is your faith?"

Never underestimate the importance of faith in your action plans. Faith is what will move you forward. It is a healthy dependence upon Christ, and at the same time, you live day by day in confidence.

Luke 17:6

"If you have faith the size of a mustard seed," the Lord said, "you can say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it will obey you.

Focus

Colossians 3:2

Set your minds on what is above, not on what is on the earth.

Psalm 1:1-3

¹ How happy is the man
who does not follow the advice of the wicked,
or take the path of sinners,
or join a group of mockers!

² Instead, his delight is in the LORD's instruction,
and he meditates on it day and night.

³ He is like a tree planted beside streams of water
that bears its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers.

Patience

Romans 12:12

Rejoice in hope; be patient in affliction; be persistent in prayer.

Psalm 37:7-9

⁷ Be silent before the LORD and wait expectantly for Him;
do not be agitated by one who prospers in his way,
by the man who carries out evil plans.

⁸ Refrain from anger and give up [your] rage;
do not be agitated—it can only bring harm.

⁹ For evildoers will be destroyed,
but those who put their hope in the LORD
will inherit the land.

In our effort to be patient and wait on the Lord, He knows that our weaknesses and intercedes for each of us. We are comforted in His ever-present nature.

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you" —[this is] the LORD's declaration—"plans for [your] welfare, not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Persistence

1 Peter 3:14-17

¹⁴ But even if you should suffer for righteousness, you are blessed. Do not fear what they fear or be disturbed, ¹⁵ but set apart the Messiah as Lord in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you. ¹⁶ However, do this with gentleness and respect, keeping your conscience clear, so that when you are accused, those who denounce your Christian life will be put to shame. ¹⁷ For it is better to suffer for doing good, if that should be God's will, than for doing evil.

Galatians 6:9

So we must not get tired of doing good, for we will reap at the proper time if we don't give up.

In conclusion, the ability to emerge from your spiritual dry spell requires the following:

Knowing that you need to change your routine and take action
Seek God’s Word and pray consistently for direction
Respond to God’s direction with faith, focus, patience, and persistence

Your efforts will reap the rewards of God’s blessings as you strengthen your relationship with Jesus Christ, grow in Him, and learn from the experience.

Bible Doctrine Study Hour - Hell and Scripture

2011-11-06T20:50:00.001-05:00

Meister des Codex Aureus Epternacensis

Each week at Akron Alliance Fellowship Church, I present subject matter during Sunday School that discusses Bible Doctrine. The link below is the audio of a recent class (October 16, 2011) on the doctrine of Hell according to Scripture. It is available for download here (this is a large file...when downloading, please be patient):

http://www.filehosting.org/file/details/282950/01_Bible_Doctrine_Study_Hour_-_Hell_and_Scripture.mp3

God Provides Comfort in the Midst of Uncertainty

2011-09-25T21:02:00.000-04:00

Except for some tweets and posts on the Akron Alliance Fellowship Church blog, I’ve been quiet on my own blog pages for a little while. It’s been a busy summer—busier than I can remember for the summer months—and my wife and I were overdue for a break for a couple of weekends in September. With the break, there was time to reflect on the blessings that my wife, my family and I have, and how God has been more than evident in His presence in our lives.

It has become more evident that change is, more than ever, a prominent part of life. There has been unexpected change at my workplace (new boss), my wife’s workplace (yep, new boss), and at church (an elder resignation). Even with all of this, there is still cause for praise and worship for how God has given us the grace and ability to manage all of the changes and the surprising events. When my wife and I have talked about this, we readily agree that we don’t care much for change, let alone sudden ones. While we’re both thankful to be working and making a living, the changes are still unsettling and can be downright stressful! It’s often necessary for us to bring our work home and use “downtime” to still be productive and keep pace with everything that comes our way.

With everything moving so quickly, I have discovered that we need to remain continually focused on God and His Word every day, and remain open to the words and direction of the Holy Spirit everywhere we go, whether it is at work or in the car or at the grocery store. In fact, there is not a moment when we should feel comfortable without the input of the Holy Spirit, especially when things seem to be going well (Psalm 51:11).

When circumstances have taken place that you don’t always understand right away, it is always best to trust God for direction when you are unsure of your response (Psalm 3:5-6, 56:3-4). He is our comfort in the midst of uncertainty.

Copyright © Melvin Gaines. All rights reserved.

My eBook - Faith & Fundamentals For Living a Healthy, Christian Life

2011-08-20T22:53:00.000-04:00

My eBook, Faith & Fundamentals For Living a Healthy, Christian Life, is now available on Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble's website, BN.com. If you have a Kindle or a Nook, you can read my eBook, but you can also use their free apps for iPhone, iPod Touch, Android, and BlackBerry, too!

This book of essays is from a select group of my sermons and seminars that touch on various topics pertaining to your faith and life development. Do you know your life purpose, and if so, are you passionate about it? The key to your success is in the development of your relationship with Jesus Christ.

Please stop by your favorite eBook reading site and thank you, in advance, for your interest.

Shattered Pain Coming To Cleveland For Benefit Concert August 27

2011-08-16T21:52:00.001-04:00

Chestnut Ridge Baptist Church in Elyria, OH is holding a benefit concert for the Tomasheski Family on Saturday, August 27, 2011 at 7:00 pm. The concert is featuring Shattered Pain, a Christian Rock band based in Nashville, and other local performers. The admission is $10.00 and benefits the Tomasheski Family. A tragic automobile accident this past June killed Tammy and Tommy Tomasheski (mother and son). Tom and Danielle (father and daughter) survived the crash, but both are on the long road to recovery.

If you are in the Elyria area, please make a note to support this important cause and be a blessing to the family, who will also needs your ongoing prayers of support.

Chestnut Ridge Baptist Church is located at 38550 Chestnut Ridge Road, Elyria OH 44035. Their phone number is 440.365.5086

Thanks to Michael Reed, manager of Shattered Pain, for passing on this message to me. Shattered Pain's debut EP is available now at stores, iTunes, or Amazon.com.

Ice Cream Social at Akron Alliance Fellowship Church

2011-07-11T22:01:00.000-04:00

Please join me on Sunday, July 17, 2011 at 5:00 p.m. as I host this year's Ice Cream Social at Akron Alliance Fellowship Church, 688 Diagonal Road, Akron OH.

We will be featuring the best in Gospel and Praise Music along with a few words of inspiration, and, oh yes, delicious ice cream treats to cool you on a warm, summer day! Last year's event was great, but this year promises to be even better! We'll be on the church's front lawn, so bring your lawn chairs and blankets.

If you're in the area, please be sure to invite your friends and family members, and admission is free!

Roller Skating Enthusiasm – Akron’s G.S.F.E. Cade

2011-06-19T20:54:00.002-04:00

Photo from G.S.F.E. Cade website

(Number Three of a Series)

My wife and I decided to visit the newer version of Akron’s Rollercade skating rink, the G.S.F.E. Cade on a recent Friday evening for a special skating session. We decided to forego our regular session at the Pla-Mor on Thursday because it would have been too much for us to do back-to-back sessions, especially on a work night.

The special session was to honor one of Akron’s well-known skaters, the late Harlan Ferguson. The tribute to him demonstrates the camaraderie and loyalty of skaters throughout the Cleveland and Akron area. While I did not know him personally, I know that he was a fun-loving person that the skaters in the area really appreciated very much, and their gesture of having a private skate session in his honor was very heart-warming.

The old Rollercade had a similar history to that of the old Euclid Rollerdrome where it closed and reopened under new ownership, except that the Rollercade was closed for much longer as a skating rink. For a few years, it actually operated under the name Rollercade Bingo Hall. The skating floor had remained in place for all of that time, and when it reopened under its present ownership, it was the only skating rink within the Akron city limits. For some, the alternative skating rink in the area was Rocky’s in Tallmadge, a few exits to the north off State Route 8, but it was difficult to take Rocky’s seriously as an alternative skating rink because of its poor and inconsistent floor conditions. It was dirty more often than not, and there were some warped or missing floorboards in the center area where, if you weren’t careful, you could go airborne or go down very quickly if you weren’t paying attention. Needless to say, it was exciting to hear that the old Rollercade was reopening, for there was a real need for a better floor in Akron to skate on.

The name G.S.F.E. Cade doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue. I guessed that it involved the names of the newest owners of the rink, and I was right (According to the website, the rink is owned by Greg and Sissy Edwards…there is no explanation for the letter “F” in the name). Most people now refer to it as the Cade or the old Rollercade. Either way, it is easy to get to by expressway on East Market Street in Akron, and its hours of operation are actually at different times than the Pla-Mor in Euclid, which allows diehard skaters to attend sessions in Akron and Cleveland on four out of five days during the week without a conflict (The Cade has sessions on Monday and Wednesday evenings, while Pla-Mor is open Tuesday and Thursday evenings). This wasn’t always the case when the rink first reopened, but since that time it has turned out to be a good business plan over time.

The G.S.F.E. Cade has changed their floor since my first visit to the rink around 2008. At that time, the original floor was still down, and it wasn’t a bad floor. It was a little dirty at that time, and a little slippery from all of the residue that was there. I suspect that its early condition was not due to neglect from the new owners. It was an old floor with a fair amount of wear and tear from years and years of previous use, and it was likely beyond the point where it could stand much more of a cleaning or a major resurfacing or reconditioning. It was still serviceable, and much better than Rocky’s floor. The surface was a little too slick, however, to feel extremely comfortable moving quickly around the rink.

When we returned last month, we were surprised to see a brand new floor. The website calls it a new rotunda floor. It was in excellent condition, and the new ownership was careful to point out that no gum chewing was allowed on the floor, and for good reason—the wood on the floor was relatively “soft” under my wheels, which would not be conducive to a lot of scraping if something was to stick to the surface. The floor is one of the most aesthetically beautiful floors I have ever seen, and the grip of your wheels as you rolled on the floor surface around the rink was very secure. The softness of the floor, especially compared with Pla-Mor’s harder wood surface, was quite noticeable. In fact, I found that, after a brief session of skating on it, I was little more sore than normal because it apparently requires your muscles getting used to the slight difference as you push off and move.

I also noticed something that I had not noticed before when I skated at the rink a few years back. The overall surface of the rink floor was much smaller than what I was used to. It is slightly smaller than Pla-Mor’s floor and Wickliffe’s United Skates of America. In fact, it is the smallest floor that I am aware of in the Cleveland and Akron area. The size of the rink, however, is in no way a problem for the avid roller…there is plenty of room to skate if you are moving around the rink AND if everyone is skating within their proper lanes…and there is your problem. The lanes around the rink are relatively narrow if you consider that the center area is clearly defined by the direction of the floor boards, and if there is not any cooperation as you move about, you could be disappointed by the pace of the skaters if you are used to moving quickly on the outside. Another problem with the new floor is if you prefer skate dancing. Skate dancers move around to the music on the inside oval area around the edge while traffic moves around the floor in the skate lanes. If you are a skate dancer like my wife is, you can’t do it effectively at the Cade as you can at other rinks, because the new floor center area was not smoothed out in the same way as the lanes around the rink. The center floorboards are rough and uneven, and are only good for standing in place (the boards could literally hold your wheels in place without any effort, and rolling over them is like rolling over soft speed bumps!). While you are ill-advised to travel through the center area while rolling around the floor, you also can’t dance on your wheels without potentially hitting a speed bump and taking a spill…a big disappointment for dancers.

The G.S.F.E. Cade is a great alternative for skaters who want to move at a pace that is conducive to Akron style skating…it serves the Akron well with its design, and the floor’s condition means that it will be a favorite for many for a long time to come. Personally, while I like the floor, there are too many issues that prevent me and my wife from enjoying it more than just an occasional visit. My home floor is Pla-Mor, and I look forward to it every week.

Roller Skating Enthusiasm – From the Euclid Rollerdrome to Pla-Mor Roller Rink

2011-06-04T23:15:00.000-04:00

Jeff Piorkowski / Sun News

(Number Two of a Series)

I was first introduced to the Euclid Rollerdrome in 2004, and thought that it was, far and away, the best skating floor that I had ever seen. I couldn’t believe how smooth and well kept the floor was. The floor’s excellent condition was because of the efforts of the rink’s owner, Keith Broda, who was a dedicated skater and lover of roller skating. He really did a tremendous job keeping up the floor, if not the rest of the building. It remains, in my mind, the most ideal roller skating experience in memory.

It was a complete surprise to all of us who regularly attended the adult skating sessions when the Rollerdrome closed in October of 2008. It closed without warning, and our regular group of skaters migrated to United Skates of America for a brief period afterward. It was a letdown to skate on USA’s floor in comparison to the old Rollerdrome floor. The USA floor was not as well kept as in previous years and skating sessions in 2008 and early 2009. There were several slick spots on the floor where there was moisture from the overhead air conditioning units. It was also very dirty (my wheels were absolutely filthy after each session) and there were bits of debris on the floor where you could experience a sudden stop if you ran over something. During one session, I witnessed a young lady barely get out onto the floor when one of her wheels caught a bearing or a loose item on the floor, and she fell and fractured both wrists. From that moment on, I was concerned for my safety and my wife’s safety, and I knew that I would be scaling back from skating there unless there was a dramatic change to the floor conditions.

It was about five months since the Rollerdrome closed that The Big Rumor began to circulate throughout the roller skating crowd...The Rollerdrome was going to reopen! A loyal friend of our group of skaters was trying to open up his own skating rink business. I was hoping for the best but preparing for the worst because it was almost too good to be true--especially in the present economy where businesses were closing…not opening. Nonetheless, there was a definite buzz in the air for a few weeks as we kept hearing about it more and more, but we could not confirm anything…until we heard that there was now a projected opening date at the old Rollerdrome. When the word got out that there was a grand opening coming in the Spring of 2009, the management at USA tried to entice attendees with a super-discounted session the following week, but there was no way that I would be coming back if the old Rollerdrome was open again…it was no contest. No, I haven't gone back since then.

The grand opening of the Pla-Mor Roller Rink was a moment that I compared to the movie Field of Dreams. It was an amazing sight to see the rink on opening night. Bright colors…a clean floor…the newly decorated walls…lights…sounds of a booming speaker system. Yes, it was the same floor in the same building that I remember, but with new signage, new posters, and fresh coats of paint. It was a thing of beauty to me. There was nothing grand or magnificent about it on the surface…it was merely a place where I was now able to pick up where I left off at Rollerdrome and build on those wonderful memories with some new ones…and enjoy skating once more.

The name Pla-Mor was a revival of an old skating rink near University Circle, and the name takes on the same meaning for those who skated there as it does for those of us who remember the glory days at Southgate, the older United Skates of America, and the Rollerdrome (for more on the ownership of the new rink, please refer to this article on the rink from June 2009 on Cleveland.com).

Pla-Mor’s floor is one of the best in the Cleveland area for skating. The floor has not always been as exceptionally clean as the Rollerdrome floor, but it is still more than acceptable for skid-free skating. The management, in fact, does an excellent job keeping debris off of the floor surface and makes sure that any issues that may develop are handled quickly. It was recently resurfaced with a heavy varnish that took some getting used to when it was first applied, but the end result was an improvement to the surface after the rink’s reopening. I enjoy fast skating on the outside of the rink, and a good grip is critical. My wife is more of a dancer, and the skate surface in the center area is smooth and free of obstruction (I learned recently that not all floor surfaces in the center area are smooth…some surfaces are not sanded down properly and some can be so poor that they are warped.). The Pla-Mor surface is firm and is a good fit with Bones wheels, as long as the floor is clean and free of excess dirt and your own wheels are clean. I have been using a soft window-like cleaner to clean my wheels before every session to prevent unnecessary buildup. A quick tip—if you use too harsh of a cleaner on your wheels, you could cause premature deterioration and dull their surface, which would adversely affect your grip and traction.

The floor of the Pla-Mor rink is a decent size. At one time, the USA floor in Wickliffe was one of the largest that I had ever seen, but over time, the floor had lost real estate because of extra seating in the audience and because of the addition of laser tag in an adjacent area. Pla-Mor has no obstructions or areas that can encroach the floor. There is bench and chair seating available on three sides of the floor as well as an ample supply of lockers where you can pay an extra dollar to lock your personal belongings. There is also a snack bar available, but a lady has been bringing in meals and desserts every week for about five dollars a plate that would rival most Thanksgiving dinner menus. The air conditioning, at times, has strained to keep the rink at an optimal level of comfort, and the music has been more often good than outright bad. There is much to be thankful for in that the diehard roller skaters now have a place to go once more each week to create more great memories.

Copyright © Melvin Gaines. All rights reserved. For additional content, please visit melvingaines.com and melvingaines.wordpress.com.

A Fat Pitch For Believers To Swat Out the True Gospel

2011-05-26T17:37:00.000-04:00

Harold Camping’s doomsday prediction for Saturday, May 21 generated much more media coverage for its boldness and confident certainty, especially with the persons out proclaiming “The Word” who had sold their belongings, quit their jobs, and waited for the big moment when they would be raptured into heaven with Jesus.

Saturday, May 21 at 6:00 pm (Pacific Daylight Time—although no one is sure to this day if the rapture was to occur every hour on the hour starting on the East coast at 6:00 pm) came and went…no evidence of a rapture...just a bunch of rapture parties and conversation about looting after believers disappeared. As far as we can tell, none of the believers disappeared—except for Harold Camping. He went missing and was apparently in hiding. His followers were sullen and disappointed, for sure. Where was he, and why are we left standing here? A bigger question was what happened to all of the money sent to Camping and Family Radio for all of the doomsday publicity? There were a few of his followers that were out of cash thinking that they were out of time. They were just out of cash.

A "flabbergasted" Camping resurfaced a couple of days later, and he admitted on his radio program that he thought that May 21 was the right date. He stated that he never asked anyone for their money to support this effort (Wow!) and that he was sorry that he was wrong about the date (never mind that he was wrong before in 1994). In the same breath, however, he declared that the real final date for all of mankind would be October 21, 2011. 10.21.2011. This was a huge moment for those who are into numerology, or just playing the numbers. Make sure that you ask to box it when you play while there's still time.

While there have been numerous conversations, even with Harold, I’m sure, that no one knows the day or the hour (Matthew 24:36, Mark 13:32), that hasn’t stopped his predictions. Maybe he believes that he has a special insight that even Jesus Christ Himself does not have, or maybe he believes that the third time is the charm. There’s no need to ask him, because he is convinced that October 21 is THE BIG ONE for all of us. Yes, Elizabeth, we’re coming home to join you…because Harold said so.

All of this discussion (and the accompanying fallout) garnered more than its share of media attention (frenzy) over the last few months as we got closer and closer to The Big Day. Admittedly, Harold is doing all of us, the true believers in Jesus Christ, a huge favor. It actually allows for each us an opportunity to get the real truth out to those who want to talk about it. You have to admit that he has gotten a lot of people to actually crack open their bibles and look up some Scripture, and we are actually talking openly about Jesus Christ and the rapture…of all places…in public!

Now that Harold has given us an additional five months of free discussion time with his newest declaration, we need to be open and ready to speak to non-believers about Christ and what the Scriptures really say about this event. While you’re at it, ask them if they are indeed ready WHEN (and not IF) Jesus Christ does return. That is the message that each of us needs to be ready to convey. It can be done as part of casual conversation or as a serious Q & A session. Whip out your bibles and bone up on some Scripture verses. There’s no better time than now. We only have five months to live anyway.

In all seriousness, we don’t need to sell our possessions or quit our jobs…we just need to be ready and available to talk about the thing that really matters…salvation for those who believe and trust in Jesus Christ as personal Savior. Use this as one of your best opportunities to be an effective minister for Christ. Camping lobbed up a huge softball pitch for each of us to swat out of the park. Don’t miss the moment.

So Much For Picking The Hour and The Day...

2011-05-23T22:02:00.002-04:00

The fastest way to losing your credibility is to attempt to show yourself to know more than God and try to show Him up...bad call.

Now Available - My New eBook!

2011-05-19T11:29:00.002-04:00

My new eBook, Faith & Fundamentals For Living a Healthy, Christian Life, is now available on Amazon.com and Barnes & Noble's website, BN.com. If you have a Kindle or a Nook, you can read my eBook, but you can also use their free apps for iPhone, iPod Touch, Android, and BlackBerry, too!

This book of essays is from a select group of my sermons and seminars that touch on various topics pertaining to your faith and life development. Do you know your life purpose, and if so, are you passionate about it? The key to your success is in the development of your relationship with Jesus Christ.

Please stop by your favorite eBook reading site and thank you, in advance, for your interest.

Pain Management - Sermon (MP3 Audio)

2011-05-13T21:40:00.000-04:00

Easter Still the Annual Church Tryout Day

2011-04-25T21:43:00.000-04:00

When I was very young, I didn't go to church except for once a year since my parents were unchurched and weren't especially motivated to seek a regular church fellowship. The once-a-year trip was to the neighborhood church in the Lee-Harvard area of Cleveland, and it was on Easter Sunday. I was too young to have a clue about church except that it was a place to go on occasion where you could wear your best light blue pastel suit and sit for a couple of hours on a hard bench and get overheated very quickly because of the lack of ventilation. I felt relief when I finally left the church and got outside, where the cool breezes would call attention to my perspiration under a steamy, polyester-like suit.

I did pay attention enough through the heat, however, to see that church was not such a scary place after all. I had already experienced the screaming, sanctified woman at the colorful, inner city church where the women dressed as nurses would carry the wounded yellers out of the sanctuary. I had to learn over a few visits that the screamers was not a regular part of church (thank goodness).

Now that I am older and a little smarter about the church experience, I realize that, many years ago, I was part of a large group of people that go to church once a year, and that group still exists today...the Easter Sunday once-a-year church goers. As I checked through my Facebook faith posts and Twitter faith tweets, I noted that there were many efforts to get people to go to church services on Easter in large venues--even stadiums--in different parts of the country, or there were multiple services at large churches to accommodate the crowds.

There must be a sense of duty behind the magnitude of people compelled to attend Easter services. It is a movement that occurs on the one day that Jesus Christ is given honor by the secular or unchurched people...and that's just fine with me. It is my hope, however, that the people who do visit church will actually come to the understanding that visiting church once a year does not earn brownie points or good favor with God because of the effort. While God sincerely appreciates the visitation, I have found that many once-a-year visitors often slip into church and sit in the back row at the start of the service only to duck out the door before it ends...these premeditated escape artists put Houdini on notice.

Not to be overly critical, I must point out that the once-a-year tryout people have a latent curiosity, if not an outright need for understanding, of how the other half lives--in other words, how can these church folk stand to go into churchdom (AKA boredom) every Sunday? What is the attraction that one can have to maintain such a regular routine as going to church every week...wait, sometimes even twice a week...or even (heaven forbid) go to Sunday school???

There is no single answer for this phenomenon of regular church attendance, but the reasons all circle back to one simple thing...there is a strong likelihood that many of the people who attend church once or twice a week (and even Sunday school) have a greater understanding about what it is to have a healthy relationship with God. The regulars are far from perfect--and share the same flaws that the once-a-yearers have--but they acknowledge these shortcomings by recognizing that God provides forgiveness and healing...missing commodities in today's world of artificial fixes.

And now I'll speak for me, one of the regulars, who did not come to a greater understanding of who Jesus Christ is until I was 26 years old, and when I accepted Him as my personal Savior. It took a little interest, and then curiosity, and then an open mind to help me to understand that I needed Him in my life. That's what it ultimately takes for each of us who want to learn something new. Sometimes we have to realize that it is the very things that we don't understand that we are most afraid of. It is all about overcoming our fears, which we often have to do to grow personally, and even spiritually. We also have to be careful to not listen to someone else's opinions about something that we don't understand, which can keep us from seeking what ultimately is the truth. That is what is really tragic about not trying something...when you make excuses not to seek understanding when you have everything in your power to make it happen.

It is my prayer that if you are a once-a-year Easter Sunday tryout person that you consider going back to church in a week or two, but don't wait an entire year. There are many wonderful bible-teaching churches with people just like you that are more than willing to welcome you for the second, third, or fourth visit (but you have to stay long enough after the service ends, of course). You just may find that the friendliness and fellowship that you experience will be far from boring and will actually be refreshingly sincere, which just happens to be just the way Jesus Christ would have you to see Him. Church is not really a scary place, but you'll have to try it out more than once to see for yourself.

Copyright © Melvin Gaines. For more content, please see melvingaines.com and melvingaines.blogspot.com.

Love Languages For Your Life

2011-04-11T21:47:00.003-04:00

The following is the text of the two-day seminar presented to Akron Alliance Fellowship Church on April 8-9, 2011. The material is based upon the book The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate by Dr. Gary Chapman, © 1992, Northfield Publishing, Chicago IL.

Welcome to Spring Break 2011 and another installment of the Akron Alliance Fellowship Church Relationship Conference Series. We are now in our fourth year of the series and our sixth seminar where we study and discuss everyday interpersonal relationships with a biblical perspective. This is a unique approach to relationships that go beyond the how-to and advice books as we rely upon God’s Word to extrapolate how relationships form, develop, and change within our life experiences.

In the past we have discussed relationships from an interpersonal standpoint, including those with relatives, friends, co-workers, and, of course, a loving, healthy relationship with God and even how you value yourself. We have focused on marital relationships and explored the importance of knowing your spouse as your marriage grows. We have even discussed the difficulties of being in relationships with those that you love that are often unlovable. Topics of divorce and remarriage have been discussed. Yes, we covered a lot of ground, and there is much more to explore with our present look at love in action.

Love is a word that no one ever gets tired of talking about. It has a miraculous resonance to it because of how it can dramatically change the lives of the people who experience it. We should be thankful for the importance of love that God has always emphasized in his Word, and the responsibility that He gives to each of us in the role of love in how we interact with others.

It begins with how God demonstrates His love for us and that it is timeless and beyond measure:

Psalm 136:1-9
Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good. His love is eternal.
Give thanks to the God of gods. His love is eternal.
Give thanks to the Lord of lords. His love is eternal.
He alone does great wonders. His love is eternal.
He made the heavens skillfully. His love is eternal.
He spread the land on the waters. His love is eternal.
He made the great lights: His love is eternal.
The sun to rule by day, His love is eternal.
The moon and stars to rule by night. His love is eternal.

John 3:16-17
"For God loved the world in this way: He gave His One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world that He might judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.”

He also gives us insight into the characteristics of love in its practice.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8, 13
Love is patient; love is kind. Love does not envy; is not boastful; is not conceited; does not act improperly; is not selfish; is not provoked; does not keep a record of wrongs; finds no joy in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for languages, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end. Now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Deuteronomy 6:5-9
Love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them be a symbol on your forehead. Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Leviticus 19:18
Do not take revenge or bear a grudge against members of your community, but love your neighbor as yourself; I am the LORD.

Matthew 22:36-40
"Teacher, which commandment in the law is the greatest?"
He said to him, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and most important commandment. The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commandments."

John 13:34-35
"I give you a new commandment: love one another. Just as I have loved you, you must also love one another. By this all people will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."

Ephesians 5:25
Husbands, love your wives, just as also Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her, to make her holy, cleansing her in the washing of water by the word. He did this to present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but holy and blameless.

With all of these examples that we have of love, why is it that it can be so difficult to communicate this love to others? In addition, why do we sometimes have difficulty with understanding those same gestures of love that are directed towards us? For your consideration, the simple answer to these questions is that we also sometimes struggle with the degree and measure of love that God has for us, let alone that of the love that we give to others and that we receive from others. Love indeed is patient and kind, and can also be confusing if you don’t understand its delivery methods very well. For example, we do not understand God’s love for us without the information provided to us by the Holy Spirit. Without that information, we would need an interpreter just as we cannot interpret the meaning of Scripture without the wisdom of the Spirit to help. In the same way, we sometimes need an interpreter to provide us with information about the linguistics of love communication.

This seminar will look at the languages of love as identified by the author of the best selling book, The Five Love Languages—How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, Dr. Gary Chapman. Dr. Chapman’s book was written in 1992 and became a best seller with additional books that grew out of the original, including those that expanded the love languages beyond the marital couple relationship.

This is important in that love languages are spoken on a daily basis between individuals who are not necessarily married. They are spoken between a parent and a child, a brother and a sister, and even between friends and co-workers. This communication is easily recognizable in many different interpersonal relationships, but only if you are conscious of them and are looking for them. It is essential to learn about these love languages if you are interested in the healthy development of a relationship.

Love languages are relevant to each and every one of us for one simple reason…each of us has sensory capabilities, and we all respond to stimulus through our senses. Can you note what your five senses are? Sight…hearing…taste…touch and smell! It is how we receive all of our communication, whether it is verbal or non-verbal; as a result, it is little wonder that we are responsive to love linguistics because of how it affects our overall communication efforts.

Each of us knows when there is good, effective communication between two persons (and not just between married couples)—between people that are friends with you or even your co-workers. Words to describe effective communication do not necessarily mean that you are in agreement with someone else. Effective communication is when both parties receive information that accurately represents the viewpoints of the other person. Effective communication does not necessarily mean that you are like-minded in your way of thinking. This is a misconception of effective communication. There are times when two people will have to agree to disagree, but that doesn’t mean that the communication was erroneous or ineffective. Ineffective communication is when there is a misunderstanding by one party of the other party’s intent, or it can also be ineffective if the person communicating information does not do so clearly enough for the other person to understand. You can see that, with all of the opportunities for miscommunication, the practice of effective communication requires just that—practice. It sometimes requires a little extra effort to make sure that effective communication is taking place between two or more people.

Can any of you think of situations where communication was ineffective between you and someone else, or scenarios where the best of intentions for one person to communicate with another person backfired?

What we want you to discover about the love languages is that they are unique to the individual in the same way that each of us have unique personality traits. One person’s love language may not be applicable to another person. Some persons may have only one primary love language, while others may have more than one (but usually not more than two or three would be considered primary). The key to successful interpersonal relationships is to know how to identify love languages, and how to use your “love in action” by giving and receiving through these expressions of love.

Love is More Than a Warm, Fuzzy Feeling
The word “love” is used very freely today, and while it has a primary definition, it can mean different things to different people. While most people understand love as having a strong attraction and connection to another person, we also know that love is evident with actions that support it, in much the same way that a person’s faith in Jesus Christ is most evident by a person’s actions that support such faith. You’ve heard the expression, “If you love me, then show me…” Our discussions will show that love is far more than an emotional connection. Just as an engine will fail to run without the sparks from a spark plug firing the gasoline within, the emotion of love will eventually burn out without the sparks of love in action within a relationship.

Love is profoundly more than a physical attraction, and much more than that feeling when you first fell in love, even the love for a spouse. The evidence over many relationships suggests that there is much more to the initial warm, gushy, mind-wandering experience of falling in love. In fact, after the gushiness wears off, love now requires a shift in one’s thinking and one’s attitude. The love is now expressed with a series of actions that will actually enhance the love relationship into one that is nurtured and grown through a series of actions.

This love in action is best demonstrated by the love of God in action:

1 Corinthians 16:14
Your every action must be done with love.

1 John 3:16-17
This is how we have come to know love: He laid down His life for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brothers. If anyone has this world's goods and sees his brother in need but shuts off his compassion from him—how can God's love reside in him?

Job 10:12
You gave me life and faithful love, and Your care has guarded my life.

With these verses in mind, we will spend our time looking at specific actions within a relationship that we will characterize as love languages. To recognize these love languages requires becoming adept at what I will call love linguistics. You need to be able to speak the language of love languages, and familiarity with these languages will increase your love linguistics. Before we explore these languages, let’s start with an important factor that needs to be present to allow for the exchange of love languages.

Love Requires Humility
In order to communicate effectively in love linguistics, you must be humble. Humility is the key to an open relationship, whether you are single or married, or whether you are developing a friendship or a work relationship. It is the key to being an effective communicator in any language, let along a love language, because you have to be willing to listen.

Philippians 2:3
Do nothing out of rivalry or conceit, but in humility consider others as more important than yourselves.

James 4:6
But He gives greater grace. Therefore He says: God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.
To be an effective communicator, you must be willing to stop whatever you are doing, set it aside for a moment, and listen to the person who is communicating with you. In the same way, effective communication requires a degree of thought that must go into the process. In both instances, you must give consideration to the other person, whether receiving or giving the communication. You will also find yourself to be more sensitive to the other person’s needs if you act in humility. Listening to the other person is effective communication and it requires a humble spirit. It sets the stage for the effective exchange of love languages between people.

We must be careful, however, to not confuse humility with feeling good. There will be times when you will not feel your best, and yet you will still need to communicate in such a way where the recipient will not receive the brunt of your bad feelings. This is also an act of humility, because you are putting your feelings aside in order to make sure that your language is not affected by how you are feeling. It’s not easy to do, but it is necessary to communicate at your best even when you are not feeling your best. In summary, humility is the underlying element to being an effective love linguist.

Speaking the Same Love Language is Not Required
In order to understand a person who is speaking Spanish or French, you need to know that language. In the same way, a person who does not speak English will have a difficult time interpreting what you or I would be saying. As far as love languages are concerned, the great thing about knowing your love language or the love language of your spouse, friend or peer is that you do not need to speak the same language. You only need to be aware of the other person’s love language to be an effective love linguist. Once you are aware of the other person’s language, you can speak very clearly to the other person in ways that words alone would pale in comparison.

The Love Languages
Dr. Chapman’s books all focused on five different methods of communication for married couples, family members, and friends. The languages are all based upon the personalities of the persons involved, and all of these are relatively simple to understand and simple to implement once they are recognized.

Acts of Service
You would not immediately think that acts of service is anything special in communicating a love language to someone else, but you need to consider the personality of the individual who relishes when someone shows their love for them with this act of self-sacrifice. Consider that you live with someone who likes to keep a neat house or makes a fuss over keeping things clean. Doing something as simple as offering to take out the trash or vacuum the rug for this person would be a huge gesture on your part, and it would show one very important thing…that you care enough about what that person cares about. It’s huge.

1 John 3:18
Little children, we must not love in word or speech, but in deed and truth.

1 Peter 4:10
Based on the gift they have received, everyone should use it to serve others, as good managers of the varied grace of God.

The opposite of this love language, which is essentially an affront to the person who assumes responsibilities, is to be lazy and inattentive to the helper’s personality, and also practice being forgetful or non-committal to fulfilling promises to help out in this area. This type of behavior is especially disturbing to the hard-working person, and will certainly throw cold water on a relationship (and not in a refreshing way!).

The person who appreciates acts of service is usually someone who is also very active in their efforts to keep things in order. The potential issue that an active person has is that he or she will have moments where they may become fatigued and a little frustrated over their efforts to keep their house clean. If the person you care about has this type of personality (obsession) (laugh), you may sometimes be caught in a difficult situation. The person who enjoys keeping house should not give you the same compulsion to keep a clean house in order to please the other person. In fact, that is a very uncomfortable situation, and you may be altering your own personality to meet the other person’s helping gifts. That is not speaking the other person’s love language. It would only create tension and it could have a negative effect on your effort to communicate with the other person. In reality, the Acts of Service love language is not a 50-50 tradeoff of helping each other. Remember, the act of speaking the same language is not a requirement for communication. There may never be “equality” in duties performed, for example, between a husband and wife. The wife may adore her husband for making a “contribution” to the household, such as vacuuming, washing dishes, or cleaning the bathroom. His willingness to help out is a major boost to her well-being because she believes he cares enough to lend a hand. It is his selfless acts that show his love and concern for her.

Let’s take this language of Acts of Service and make a note of some examples that are applicable to married couples, friendships, and in the workplace. Please write down the scenarios and, while doing this, think about some of the things that come to mind where you can see opportunities to nurture such a language within your own relationship.

Receiving Gifts
In the same area of love communication as acts of service is the love language of receiving gifts is reflective of making gestures that support your love for the other person. Notice that this is not the effort of “giving gifts,” which diminishes the nature of the language. The receiving of gifts is the response that you give to the person who gives you the gift. The gift is not about its value and how you respond—for example, if my wife were to give me a brand new convertible for my birthday or for Christmas, I would be very, very grateful. Anyone would be, in fact, ecstatic over such a gift. It’s easy to be appreciative if you saw a new car in your driveway with a bow on it. It’s entirely different, however, when you receive a gift that is much smaller and not as costly. There is a clear difference between the two, but we need to remove the monetary and material aspect of receiving gifts in order to best understand the language.

Do you remember a time when you received an unexpected gift or a surprise gift? Think beyond a physical gift, please. The actual gift may have been flowers or a tin of candy or even a small Care Bear that fits your personality. Consider the emotional response of receiving such a gift because of its timing or because of the level of thought that went into it. It was a special gift not because of its material value, but because it was something of a much greater value, and it required careful thought and consideration from the gift giver. It speaks of the love, care, and thoughtfulness being directed to you by the other person. If you know someone who loves surprises like this, you can appreciate how they would be extremely happy to receive even the smallest gifts. The gift may even be in line with the other love language pertaining to acts of service. Maybe your surprise gift for your wife is to cook her breakfast, clean the bathrooms, and offer to get maid service for a day (or maybe none of those things if she feels compelled to clean the house before the maid arrives, and if you really can’t cook—but I think you get the idea).

In contrast, there is a negative effect that one can have on a person whose love language is receiving gifts if you flat out forget about your friend’s or spouse’s birthday or your anniversary, or if you come up with a gift that did not require a lot of thought. This can have the opposite effect of giving a well-thought out gift, and reflect that you do not value the relationship as much as you say you do. Even a lack of everyday gestures of love has a negative effect on the person who appreciates gifts. The occasional gifts can be undermined by an ongoing attitude of selfish behavior over time.
Even if receiving gifts is not a primary love language, we need only to refer to Scripture to see the proper attitude that the gift giver should have—a heart of generosity:

2 Corinthians 9:6-13
Remember this: the person who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and the person who sows generously will also reap generously. Each person should do as he has decided in his heart—not out of regret or out of necessity, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make every grace overflow to you, so that in every way, always having everything you need, you may excel in every good work. As it is written: He has scattered; He has given to the poor; His righteousness endures forever. Now the One who provides seed for the sower and bread for food will provide and multiply your seed and increase the harvest of your righteousness, as you are enriched in every way for all generosity, which produces thanksgiving to God through us. For the ministry of this service is not only supplying the needs of the saints, but is also overflowing in many acts of thanksgiving to God. Through the proof of this service, they will glorify God for your obedience to the confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with others.

Take a moment and think about situations where you can recall giving or receiving a gift, and why you still remember the incident. What made it special?

Quality Time
If you value a relationship with a person, you will need to devote quality time to it.

Relationships will not effectively grow without quality time.

A biblical reference to quality time is the exchange between Martha and Jesus and how the busyness of life can swallow up the things that are most important, especially your relationship with Jesus Christ:

Luke 10:38-42
While they were traveling, He (Jesus) entered a village, and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home. She had a sister named Mary, who also sat at the Lord's feet and was listening to what He said. But Martha was distracted by her many tasks, and she came up and asked, "Lord, don't You care that my sister has left me to serve alone? So tell her to give me a hand." The Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha, you are worried and upset about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has made the right choice, and it will not be taken away from her."

As evidenced by Martha’s experience, quality time may be the most difficult one to practice and achieve, and while we are not ranking these in order of importance, it really is very important in its execution, and it is extremely important to the person where quality time is a primary love language. Quality time is more than just saying, “let’s take a vacation.” In fact, it does not require taking a vacation in order to experience it, although a vacation is a possible by-product of a high level of quality time. Quality time, for the love linguist, means that the other person is important enough for you to stop what you are doing, look into the eyes of the other person, and express your love in such a way where there is no misunderstanding as to how much you love and care for the other person. The act of stopping what you are doing will sidetrack some people, while stopping what you are doing and looking the other person in the eye will absolutely derail others, until we get to the remainder of the population who will stop, look, and express their feelings. After that, there’s hardly anyone left.
Quality time, according to Dr. Chapman, means really being available for the other person—with the TV off, dinner over and done with, and while not occupied with anything else except your spouse. As busy as we can be, this is very difficult to do—it requires practice for many of us. The truth is that the person who values quality time can feel very neglected if there is not a sincere effort to spend time with that person by his or her spouse. The time spent makes him or her feel loved and feel special. Ongoing distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be very hurtful.

Let’s define what quality time is. Quality time is time spent outside of the normal hustle and bustle of a couple’s day-to-day relationship. Quality time is NOT doing something that you want to do and dragging the other person along with you. It is not hanging out at a sports bar with the guys and coaxing your friend or spouse along if they don’t drink and dislike sports! Quality time is not going from place to place to shop for clothes and shoes while your spouse or friend is wandering with you like a lost child looking for a parent. There needs to be a mutual understanding of what quality time is, and then making plans that surround that quality time if it is not possible for you to make the effort to stop your regular routine.

One of our bad habits today is being engrossed with our telephones, and I have lost count of the number of times that I have talked to my boss or someone else who is looking not at me, but at their phone because of an email buzzing them and having an obsession with the next important message. Isn’t it annoying to be virtually ignored or to play second fiddle to a Blackberry? Well, if this annoys you to no end, imagine how this would feel to a person who needs to have a few moments of your attention just to express how his or her day is going, and you don’t slow yourself down long enough to take a listen or show your concern? This is a critical form of selfless communication that must be carried out for the recipient in order for you to show that, above anything and everything else going on in your life, the other person is most important.

Quality time, in summary, is giving your loved one undivided attention. Remember when you were first dating your future husband or wife and when you hung on every word, and even when you would talk on the phone for hours into the night and early morning hours until you thought that the phone in your hand and on your face would ignite from the heat and from the fire of your relationship? How long ago was that? Remember how the newness of the relationship can now be affected negatively by the busyness of life. A person who values quality time will easily be inspired by moments between the two of you where everything slows down to a stop, and where you both can have a good, eye-to-eye conversation.

Can you think of examples of quality time that you had to undertake just to force yourself to stop and hear what your friend or spouse had to say? Did you find yourself doing these things on your own, or did you need to be prompted because of an unfortunate event?

Words of Affirmation
Is there anyone that does not appreciate kind words? No one would ever refuse to listen to another person’s kindness express in words to them. We can easily reason that no one wants to hear words that are unkind within the course of a conversation, or even if they are expressed to us without warning.
What this means is that words are very powerful. They can have a tremendous amount of influence in our lives, especially in those moments where there is some sort of an emotional connection involved. The actual words, by themselves, have less of an impact, for example, if they come from strangers. You may not like, for example, if a person expresses displeasure with you because they perceived that you cut the person off in traffic. After the initial shock of what is said to you, it is likely that you can carry on with your day without it being ruined. If the hurtful words, however, come from someone whom you have an emotional attachment to, the words used can have a lasting effect on you because they cause a degree of emotional damage when they are expressed. Kind words, on the other hand, are powerful and make an impact for the good of the relationship.

Words of affirmation, in a married relationship, for example, are the additional words that support the words, “I love you.” Just as a couple can say “I love you” only so many times before there needs to be actions to support that love, words of affirmation provide information to the recipient that supports the underlying statement or declaration of “I love you.”

Before going further, it’s important to define what I mean in having an “emotional attachment” to another person in order to best understand the concept of words of affirmation as a love language. An emotional attachment can be either a good relationship with a person or a not-so-good relationship. For example, a parent-child relationship can be a strong, loving bond, or it can be a disastrous relationship because of the lack of affirmation that a child receives from the parent. The same is true within a marriage, where there is an understandable emotional attachment that begins with courtship, the ceremony, and the aftermath. Unfortunately, there are marriages that become stale over time because what began as an emotional connection may have changed for one or both parties in the marriage, and there is less and less spoken that will affirm one or the other person. The emotional attachment is still there because of the relationship, but the emotion itself can be altogether lost if there was nothing in place to reinforce the original bond.

Words of affirmation are one of the most important love languages for those persons who need to be reminded of their value within the relationship. This is more than just a self-confidence booster or a vain expression of platitudes. The words must match up with the feelings of the persons involved. It is a very important part of communication, and I contend that even if this is not your primary love language, you should practice the use of words of affirmation. Words of affirmation, or encouraging words, help to eliminate potential misunderstandings that can exist between two people in a relationship. This is a situation where the more positive you can be about a person (even if their overall behavior is not necessarily the best at a given moment), the better the communication. It will take you through those moments of difficulty and pave the way for effective communication and expression of feelings in the long run.

A person who takes out the trash, works hard every day to provide for the family, or even cleans the bathroom should be affirmed with words that express appreciation for what the person does and for what they value. It’s one thing to do these things, as well as other tasks, and not receive any comments for their efforts, but it is entirely another thing to be affirmed that what is being done indeed has a value to the other person in the relationship. It is recognition of the character traits of the person in words to support their actions. It is a way to let another person know that who they are and what they do is important to you. With that said, sometimes we will fail to express words of affirmation to the other person because (a) the person does something that is important to him or her for the good of the relationship but you do not believe it to be as important to it, or (b) because you are unhappy with the person for some reason and you don’t want to contradict your unhappiness with kind words. Sometimes, it is this unhappiness that unleashes criticism of the other person’s behaviors at its highest level.

Before proceeding, here is a Scriptural reference to how powerful unkind words can be if they are not controlled:

James 3:6-9
And the tongue is a fire. The tongue, a world of unrighteousness, is placed among the parts of our bodies; it pollutes the whole body, sets the course of life on fire, and is set on fire by hell. For every creature—animal or bird, reptile or fish—is tamed and has been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men who are made in God's likeness.

The power of the words you use can either motivate a person in love or will repel a person if the words are counter-productive in the relationship. As an example, let’s assume that a wife wants her husband to paint the bedroom. The husband has determined that he either does not like painting or does not want to paint the bedroom. This is a conflict that can go the wrong way very quickly without some thoughtful intervention. A husband will perceive a wife’s prompts to paint the bedroom as nagging if all he ever hears is “Will you paint the bedroom this weekend, PLEASE?” Even if you say please, it still sounds like nagging if that is all he ever hears about for the past eighteen weeks. Words of affirmation are not to be used as a form of manipulation, but if the husband is affirmed by all of the things that he does, and does well, there is room for discussion about those things that he does not do very well or does not like to do. How would you approach this situation? What would you say to encourage the husband to paint the bedroom?

As you can see, words of affirmation for the other person are not to be used to get something done for the sake of accomplishing your goals…remember; a relationship is a team effort. You want the other person to feel sincerely valued and appreciated, so that they are willing to tackle projects, meet goals, and accomplish things that have a mutual benefit to the relationship. The words are used for encouragement—not manipulation. Manipulation only goes so far. The recipient will know beyond the shadow of doubt that what you say cannot be trusted if it is only to get things done that you want to do. It’s the fastest path to shutting down effective communication.

Words of affirmation are powerful for the person most sensitive to this love language. They have the ability to positively affect other areas within the relationship because of the emotional connection involved. They are like sparks around a flame, especially at the right time. The positive words can offset the person who had a bad day at the office or the person who is going through difficulty.

Let’s come up with some examples of words of affirmation that we can express to our spouse, or to a friend or other family member.

Physical Touch
The love language of physical touch is not simply of a sexual nature. For example, if you were to ask a man what his primary love language is, he would usually blurt out PHYSICAL TOUCH, of course, because men are sexually wired in this way. While it is impossible to ignore that different degrees of touching have to occur during sex, this does not automatically default to being a person’s primary love language.

Many greetings or acknowledgements that we experience are usually associated with physical contact, and the vast majority of people respond favorably when it is received. A handshake, a pat on the back, a hug, a kiss on the cheek, a high five, or even a chest bump (men only, of course) are examples of physical contact that are associated with greetings or feelings of celebration. These are all acceptable forms of communication. When examining the love language of physical touch, the person whose primary language is physical touch is generally more responsive to the physical contact that is received in conjunction with either verbal and/or non-verbal communication. In fact, physical touch and words of affirmation may rank very highly together as love languages for the same individual because of that person’s sensitivity to all types of communication.

In more intimate relationships, the person sensitive to touch is highly receptive and responsive to sensations such as a kind hand to the arm or shoulder, or an arm around the waist, and even holding hands while walking or standing quietly. All of these more intimate gestures reflect a sense of excitement, comfort, care, concern, and love, depending upon the circumstance or situation. The level of comfort between the two persons that participate in physical touch is important because such actions would be perceived as strange and unwanted in relationships that are, for example, more professional or friend-like than personal. Physical touch does have rather distinct boundaries associated with the type of relationship.

Physical touch is a wonderful love language that expresses love between two people. All physical contact, however, is not good, especially when it is characterized as physical abuse. It is not hard to understand why physical abuse is so destructive in a relationship. In the same way that positive physical contact has an emotional connection and a bond between its participants, the physical abuse also has a profound emotional effect on the recipient of the abuse. Neglect is another form of abuse, except it is non-physical in nature. The neglect of a person who relishes in positive physical touch is also emotionally, and even psychologically damaging. This will typically occur in relationships where two people are communicating poorly or hardly at all, especially if one of the persons involved is often away from home.

In a relationship where there has been emotional damage, there must be guarded physical contact between the persons involved. Physical gestures such as hugging or touches on the arm or hand are not received in the same way when the recipient is damaged emotionally. While physical touch may still be the person’s primary love language, the emotional baggage that has accumulated over time may overwhelm the welcome tactile sensation of touch. It will take a lot of time and effort to heal and recover through such a period, and it will require patience of both persons involved in the recovery.
You can see how physical touch has a profound effect on the emotional health of a relationship. As we noted earlier, we are all sensory people and we respond to physical touch in different ways that are inherent to our individual personalities. Take the time now to recall instances where a reassuring hand or a hug were very timely, or make notes as to what you are most responsive to when it comes to physical touch.

Conclusion
Now that you have a greater appreciation for the love languages and their role in interpersonal relationships, we hope that you will be mindful of how we can sometimes speak different love languages, but we can still be multilingual in our communication with our loved ones if we are sensitive to their needs. It requires a sense of love and selfless behavior to be an effective communicator, and that love will last well beyond the initial emotional rush of a new relationship.

We hope that you sincerely enjoyed this weekend’s seminar, and we look forward to seeing you down the road!

Thank you!

Copyright © Melvin Gaines. For more content, please see melvingaines.com and melvingaines.blogspot.com.

Truly Saved - Sermon (MP3 Audio)

2011-03-20T00:01:00.000-04:00

The audio for my sermon, Truly Saved, delivered at Akron Alliance Fellowship Church on Sunday, March 13, 2011 is now available. This is a straight-forward gospel message. Every once in a while, you need to deliver a message like this to avoid assumptions that everyone in your audience already is walking with God. There are many people who attend churches today that are still in need of the saving grace of the Lord, Jesus Christ.

Each link is available for a free download. These are links to mp3 files that are sent to your email for a one-time download. The total message length is approximately 60 minutes after the brief introduction.

http://www.filehosting.org/file/details/212507/01_Truly_Saved_-_Introduction_&_Part_1.mp3

http://www.filehosting.org/file/details/212510/02_Truly_Saved_-_Part_2.mp3

http://www.filehosting.org/file/details/212511/03_Truly_Saved_-_Part_3.mp3

http://www.filehosting.org/file/details/212512/04_Truly_Saved_-_Part_4.mp3

http://www.filehosting.org/file/details/212513/05_Truly_Saved_-_Part_5.mp3

http://www.filehosting.org/file/details/212514/06_Truly_Saved_-_Conclusion.mp3

A copy of the original text for this message can be located here.

Copyright © Melvin Gaines. For more content, please see melvingaines.com and melvingaines.blogspot.com.

A Fanatic For Christ - Sermon (MP3 Audio)

2011-03-12T20:30:00.002-05:00

The audio for my sermon, A Fanatic For Christ, delivered at Akron Alliance Fellowship Church on Sunday, December 12, 2010 is now available.

Each link is available for a free download. These are links to mp3 files that are sent to your email for a one-time download. The total message length is approximately 50 minutes after the brief introduction.

http://www.filehosting.org/file/details/210615/01_A_Fanatic_For_Christ_Part_1.mp3

http://www.filehosting.org/file/details/210616/02_A_Fanatic_For_Christ_Part_2.mp3

http://www.filehosting.org/file/details/210619/03_A_Fanatic_For_Christ_Part_3.mp3

http://www.filehosting.org/file/details/210620/04_A_Fanatic_For_Christ_Part_4.mp3

http://www.filehosting.org/file/details/210621/05_A_Fanatic_For_Christ_Part_5.mp3

http://www.filehosting.org/file/details/210624/06_A_Fanatic_For_Christ_Conclusion.mp3

A copy of the text for this message is posted here.

Copyright © Melvin Gaines. For more content, please see melvingaines.com and melvingaines.blogspot.com.

Truly Saved

2011-03-12T19:48:00.001-05:00

As we live from day to day, week after week, month after month, and year after year, milestones of events that are like snapshots mark the days that come and go. Everybody knows the date of his or her birthday (since Mom and Dad told you so). Most people remember when they graduated from high school or college. Some remember (or try to forget) when their wedding anniversary is. A few will make the point to remember when they met their wife or husband for the first time, or their first kiss, or when the wedding proposal took place. All of these are dates of importance, but did you consider the most important date of all…do you remember the day that you got saved?

The day that you were saved is truly a milestone day of your life. It is a day that you may or may not remember in the same way that you would remember your wedding day or a first date. What should be noted, however, is that it really is not all that important whether or not that you remember all of the details as to the day you were saved…what is most important is knowing that you ARE saved. It is best to know that you are saved, and to know what you what being saved really means.

First, let’s discuss the definition of the word “saved” and how it relates to the term “salvation.” To be saved indicates that a type of rescue or a removal from a dangerous situation or circumstance must take place. When a person is rescued from a burning building or from a possible drowning or a similar calamity, there is a certainty that life would be lost were it not for the rescue effort. In the same way, referring to the spiritual condition of a person, to be “saved” is to avoid the end result when you are not rescued…a certainty of death. What kind of death? Not just a physical death, but also a spiritual death. The spiritual death, in its simplest form, is the result of man’s inability to have a relationship with God, who is holy. Spiritual death is the equivalent of a separation from God.

Romans 3:23
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.

Romans 5:12
Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, in this way death spread to all men, because all sinned.

Sin is what separates us from having a relationship with God. It would not take us very long to recognize this sin in our lives, especially if you review what the Bible says about the tendencies of mankind:

Ephesians 2:1-3
And you were dead in your trespasses and sins ² in which you previously walked according to this worldly age, according to the ruler of the atmospheric domain, the spirit now working in the disobedient. ³ We too all previously lived among them in our fleshly desires, carrying out the inclinations of our flesh and thoughts, and by nature we were children under wrath, as the others were also.

Jeremiah 17:9
The heart is more deceitful than anything else and desperately sick—who can understand it?

Mark 7:20-23
Then He said, "What comes out of a person—that defiles him. ²¹ For from within, out of people's hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immoralities, thefts, murders, ²² adulteries, greed, evil actions, deceit, lewdness, stinginess, blasphemy, pride, and foolishness. ²³ All these evil things come from within and defile a person."

And keep in mind that the knowledge of God, the Creator, will not be a deterrent for the person who chooses to live a life of sin.

Romans 1:18-25
For God's wrath is revealed from heaven against all godlessness and unrighteousness of people who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth, ¹⁹ since what can be known about God is evident among them, because God has shown it to them. ²⁰ From the creation of the world His invisible attributes, that is, His eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood through what He has made. As a result, people are without excuse. ²¹ For though they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God or show gratitude. Instead, their thinking became nonsense, and their senseless minds were darkened. ²² Claiming to be wise, they became fools ²³ and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man, birds, four-footed animals, and reptiles.²⁴ Therefore God delivered them over in the cravings of their hearts to sexual impurity, so that their bodies were degraded among themselves. ²⁵ They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served something created instead of the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen.

Thankfully, the Bible also provides a remedy for our sin—Jesus Christ, who is the provision of our salvation. He provides salvation because he loved us before we could even begin to love Him, and He loves us more than we can begin to imagine! He is the provision for our sin that allows us to fellowship with Him, and rescued us from eternal separation and eternal punishment for our sin. We cannot ignore that God punishes sin because He is a holy God that judges unrighteousness (John 8:21-24; Mark 9:43-48; Luke 16:22-31; Revelation 20:11-15).

Isaiah 53:5-6
But He was pierced because of our transgressions, crushed because of our iniquities; punishment for our peace was on Him, and we are healed by His wounds. We all went astray like sheep; we have all turned to our own way; and the Lord has punished Him for the iniquity of us all.

The key to all of this is that a person has to come to a point where the life that they are living has a need for a change. The natural man does not have the desire, nor the inclination, to reach for a lifeline, a Savior, or for salvation—for the simple reason that they do not believe that they need to be saved. In fact, the flesh that we are in does not have a desire to seek the Lord. The flesh actually repels from God. If it were not for the amazing love of God through Jesus Christ, who makes the provision for our salvation, we would have no hope for spiritual life with Him. His desire is for each of us to be rescued from the fate of eternal separation from Him. He wants us to be with Him through eternity.

John 3:16-17
"For God loved the world in this way: He gave His One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. ¹⁷ For God did not send His Son into the world that He might judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.

Salvation is a gift from God through Jesus Christ. It is not an assumption or an afterthought. The believer in Jesus Christ must recognize the gift and accept it. Many see the love of Christ and recognize that they have a gift—if only they would just ACCEPT it! There are people who know about the gift of salvation but won’t accept it for fear that there must be a catch to it. What’s the catch? Try to think for a moment how the flesh looks at this:

“But I still want to have fun! Isn’t being a Christian boring?”
“I want to live my life the way I want to!”
“I can still go to church and to the club, can’t I?”
“I’ve got plenty of time to accept the Lord!”

The person who allows the Holy Spirit, who gives the person the ability to see the wonder of the gift of salvation for what it truly is, receives the gift with the proper attitude. This is what leads to a person being truly saved. It is a true salvation—not a concoction in the mind of the person who is still embracing the flesh and living a life outside of God’s will.

How does a person know that they are truly saved? A person who is truly saved must do these two things—almost simultaneously—when a decision is made to live for Christ. First:

The person who is truly saved MUST have a heart of repentance, a desire to avoid unrighteousness, and a desire to seek righteousness.

The key word here is a heart of repentance. Remember the verse that says our hearts are deceitful (Jeremiah 17:9)? The deceitful heart does not have the desire to seek God. God must give us the heart to seek Him through repentance. We must repent of our sin in order to begin moving down the path of righteousness to Him. We must have desire to put aside the world’s pleasures and to live in such a way where we want to live for Him. This is the first step towards being truly saved. Next…

Acknowledge that Jesus Christ is the person who died for you—you personally, and receive His gift of salvation.

You would think that receiving a gift is a simple thing to do. Well, it is, and it isn’t. If you think about it, most of us will have a feeling of gratitude for receiving something for nothing from a stranger, but we also may have an awkward feeling that comes with it. In fact, some of us are compelled to now look at the first opportunity to give that person who gave us the gift a comparable gift in return, as if it was a gift exchange. Well, we cannot put Jesus Christ on a gift exchange plan and give Him a comparable gift. There is no gift that we can give that comes close to His gift of life for us from His death on the cross. All He wants from us is for us to be obedient to Him. That’s it!

Salvation is a personal gift from Jesus Christ to you. He just wants you to sincerely receive His gift. We say “thank you” to Jesus by just living in a way that pleases Him. It is your ongoing “thanks” to Him because you recognize His love for us in how we love Him in return.

Please note that this is a personal gift for you. You cannot say that you are truly saved because you are in the midst of a group of believers. You are not truly saved if you were raised in a Christian home. You are not truly saved because you have a talent to memorize Scripture. You must make the commitment to make your own personal declaration that Christ died for YOU! Remember that Jesus Christ knows you personally because you are part of His creation.

Psalm 139:13-16
For it was You who created my inward parts; You knit me together in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, because I have been remarkably and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, and I know this very well. My bones were not hidden from You when I was made in secret, when I was formed in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw me when I was formless; all my days were written in Your book and planned before a single one of them began.

This is a testimony that every single one of us is special to Him—the time, the detail, the knowledge of God devoted to creating each one of us. It is a testimony that you are not here on earth by accident. You are His creation, and He knows you intimately.

Matthew 10:30
But even the hairs of your head have all been counted.

If He knows you personally, shouldn’t you know Him in the same way?

If you have done these two key things, you are truly saved. If you have not done these two key things—repented from your life of sin and accepted the gift of salvation by trusting Jesus Christ as your personal Savior—then you are still operating as an agent for the Adversary, Satan. Satan does not want you to acknowledge Jesus Christ, and he does not want you to do this because there is enmity between Satan and Christ. In contrast, Jesus Christ wants all of His human creation to come to a saving knowledge of Him—not just knowing Him or who He is—but a saving knowledge.

1 Timothy 2:3-4
This is good, and it pleases God our Savior, ⁴ who wants everyone to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.

2 Peter 3:8-9
Dear friends, don't let this one thing escape you: with the Lord one day is like 1,000 years, and 1,000 years like one day. ⁹ The Lord does not delay His promise, as some understand delay, but is patient with you, not wanting any to perish, but all to come to repentance.

This saving knowledge of Jesus Christ seals you for redemption of your sins. It is God’s assurance to you of protection of your soul…your spiritual life after you leave here. He seals you for the purpose of being with Him for all eternity.

With these declarations, the lines are clearly drawn between those who are in the world and loving it, those who are in the world and miserable over it, those who think they are with the Lord and yet they are lost, and those who are truly saved. To be truly saved is to be separated from the world—to be in the world but not living as the world does. Those who are truly saved have this understanding.

1 John 5:18-20
We know that everyone who has been born of God does not sin, but the One who is born of God keeps him, and the evil one does not touch him. ¹⁹ We know that we are of God, and the whole world is under the sway of the evil one. ²⁰ And we know that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding so that we may know the true One. We are in the true One—that is, in His Son Jesus Christ. He is the true God and eternal life.

Do you now remember the day when you were not just saved, but truly saved? If you do, you know with confidence where you stand with God through Jesus Christ. If you’re not sure about this, make it your desire to learn more by seeking Him right now. Let today be the very day that is the most important day of your entire life. Make it a day of rejoicing for you and for your eternity.

Copyright © Melvin Gaines. For more content, please see melvingaines.com and melvingaines.blogspot.com.

Seeking The Truth - Sermon (MP3 Audio)

2011-03-02T22:27:00.001-05:00

The audio for my sermon, Seeking the Truth, delivered at Akron Alliance Fellowship Church on Sunday, February 27, 2011 is now available.

Each link is available for a free download. These are links to mp3 files that are sent to your email for a one-time download. The total message length is approximately one hour after the brief introduction.

http://www.filehosting.org/file/details/207761/01_Seeking_The_Truth_-_Introduction_&_Part_1.mp3

http://www.filehosting.org/file/details/207762/02_Seeking_The_Truth_-_Part_1_&_2.mp3

http://www.filehosting.org/file/details/207765/03_Seeking_The_Truth_-_Part_3.mp3

http://www.filehosting.org/file/details/207766/04_Seeking_The_Truth_-_Part_4.mp3

http://www.filehosting.org/file/details/207767/05_Seeking_The_Truth_-_Part_5.mp3

http://www.filehosting.org/file/details/207768/06_Seeking_The_Truth_-_Part_6.mp3

http://www.filehosting.org/file/details/207769/07_Seeking_The_Truth_-_Conclusion.mp3

Copyright © Melvin Gaines. For more content, please see melvingaines.com and melvingaines.blogspot.com.

Searching for Truth

2011-02-27T18:07:00.001-05:00

Do you recall the last time that you were searching around for your car keys? Was it just the other day that you were hunting around for your cell phone because you could not find where you had last put it down? Maybe it was your wallet, where you keep your driver’s license. Don’t leave home without it! For those times you misplaced your glasses, you really struggled finding them because your eyesight is the reason you had to get glasses in the first place!
All of us have lost something that we need to find as soon as possible in order to be able to continue with our day, or even just feel better because what you thought was lost was not really lost at all. The process of searching for something can be a very casual search, or a frantic search where you are flipping seat cushions and bed covers, or something in between.

While none of us looks forward to searching for a lost item, we should relish looking for those things that reveal truth in the midst of a very confusing world. The search for truth can be relatively straightforward, for example, it occurs to you while you are looking for your keys that you left them in your coat pocket, and while your keys are not yet located, you know where to go to find them. Some searches for truth for some of us are not as simple. There are still others where the search for truth is hampered by constraints of the world. Their search is one of futility because they do not know where to go or which way to turn next. The search process is now fraught with disappointment and despair. The search for truth can be as simple as the search when you absolutely know where to look, or it can be utterly mystifying and confusing.

A search requires effort on your part. Searching for truth requires effort, as well. Jesus certainly knew that there would be many people today seeking the truth about Him or the truth about salvation and what it means to trust in Him as your personal Savior. With all of this, He provides us with some guidelines as we search for truth in this world. Let’s “search” the Scriptures in seeking his advice.

Matthew 7:7-8
"Keep asking, and it will be given to you. Keep searching, and you will find. Keep knocking, and the door will be opened to you. ⁸ For everyone who asks receives, and the one who searches finds, and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.

The search for truth has some basic components that are within the search process. The first of these is relatively straightforward…to ask for information. We must be prepared to ask questions in order to receive answers that will guide us into truth. In the process of asking questions, we should always challenge ourselves to make sure that we are in the proper learning environment. All of us would agree that we would want the best possible environment for our children when it comes to education. We would not want to settle for anything less than a quality education for them. If that is the case, then why would you settle for a church that is short on teaching ability and that does not provide that same quality for you? You make the distinction and determination that you are in the best learning environment in church by asking questions. Once you hear the answers, now you can note them and test their veracity as you are challenged to do according to God’s Word:

Acts 17:10-12
As soon as it was night, the brothers sent Paul and Silas off to Beroea. On arrival, they went into the synagogue of the Jews. ¹¹ The people here were more open-minded than those in Thessalonica, since they welcomed the message with eagerness and examined the Scriptures daily to see if these things were so. ¹² Consequently, many of them believed, including a number of the prominent Greek women as well as men.

Asking questions during bible studies or Sunday school classes will most certainly confirm, with the proper scriptural fact checking, whether or not you are in the proper environment for seeking God’s truth in His Word. The Spirit guides us into truth if we are paying attention to Him. Jesus promises that when we ask, we will receive the answers that we need through the Spirit.

John 16:13
“When the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all the truth. For He will not speak on His own, but He will speak whatever He hears. He will also declare to you what is to come.”

Jesus also advises us to seek what we are looking for, and there will come a point where what we are looking for will be found. Notice that Jesus does not immediately proclaim that you are to seek Him directly, but what you will find is that the more you actually search through the Scriptures, the likelihood is that you will come to the same conclusion:

John 5:39
You pore over the Scriptures because you think you have eternal life in them, yet they testify about Me.

This verse points to the fact that while you may be studying scripture and asking questions, it is important to note that you could be looking directly at Jesus Christ and missing the important message that He is trying to communicate. Matthew Henry’s commentary of this verse is that even though the Jews were scholars and believed that they had everything they needed because they had God’s Word in their hands, they still neglected God’s true message and had lost their love for God. Many may believe they are very religious, and yet they sadly do not love or even know Jesus in a relational way.

It is important to not only seek, but to keep seeking—to continue to look for the truth. It may take several attempts before you make the discovery, but the key to all of this is persistence. Persistence requires a desire to get to a place in your search where you are completely satisfied with the results. In order to get to that point, you must keep seeking…keep looking for answers. The answers come from Scripture, and as we seek the truth, we should have the desire to seek it even more.

Psalm 1:1-3
How happy is the man who does not follow the advice of the wicked, or take the path of sinners, or join a group of mockers! ² Instead, his delight is in the LORD's instruction, and he meditates on it day and night. ³ He is like a tree planted beside streams of water that bears its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers.

The search for truth requires asking for information, seeking answers to your questions, and another act of persistence, knocking. The act of knocking, specifically in Matthew 7 on a door, is to create a sound that brings attention to the one who is creating the noise. To knock on the door is to alert someone on the other side that you wish to obtain entry to a place that you cannot readily access without the door being opened for you. Logically, if you could open the door and enter the room, there is no need to knock.

Why the reference of knocking and the door will be opened? This is also an example of persistence and also endurance. The door being knocked on is considered to be an obstacle. The obstacle can be perceived as a small thing, or it can be a very great trial. Of the commentaries that you may review in looking at this verse, there are references to the combination of prayer to God, persistence, and endurance with the act of knocking on the door. You continue to knock on the door until it is opened. Let’s look at the parallel verse, which gives a more detailed example of this:

Luke 11:5-9
⁵ He also said to them: "Suppose one of you has a friend and goes to him at midnight and says to him, 'Friend, lend me three loaves of bread, because a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I don't have anything to offer him.' ⁷ Then he will answer from inside and say, 'Don't bother me! The door is already locked, and my children and I have gone to bed. I can't get up to give you anything.' ⁸ I tell you, even though he won't get up and give him anything because he is his friend, yet because of his persistence, he will get up and give him as much as he needs. ⁹ "So I say to you, keep asking, and it will be given to you. Keep searching, and you will find. Keep knocking, and the door will be opened to you.

The opening of the door allows you to enter into a place of rest and security in the Lord. An open door after persistent knocking brings on a sense of relief and satisfaction. If you notice closely in the verse that the Lord promises that He will open the door…not that he might open it or could open it…He will open the door. This is a promise that He gives to each of us who remain persistent in seeking Him, endure hardships to fellowship with Him, and look for ways to understand Him in the best way possible.

Notice that this is exactly what Jesus Christ wants you to do in your efforts to seek Him. To keep asking questions, to keep seeking understanding, to continue to pray in earnest through your hardships until the time He responds to you. Seeking the truth means that you are doing much more than just learning about Jesus Christ—you are learning that the actions of asking, seeking, and knocking mean that you are seeking a living Christ…the Messiah…the God who knows all about you while you are continually learning more about Him, learning how to love Him as He already loved you.

Romans 5:8
But God proves His own love for us in that while we were still sinners Christ died for us!

John 3:16
For God loved the world in this way: He gave His One and Only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.

1 John 4:9-10
God's love was revealed among us in this way: God sent His One and Only Son into the world so that we might live through Him. Love consists in this: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation (sacrifice) for our sins.

Seeking truth is all about seeking Jesus. We are to never cease from seeking Him, for the more we learn about Jesus Christ, the more wisdom, knowledge, and understanding that we will receive from Him through the presence of the Holy Spirit.

Proverbs 9:10
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.

Copyright © Melvin Gaines. For more content, please see melvingaines.com and melvingaines.blogspot.com.

Penn Center: A National Treasure

2011-02-11T23:25:00.002-05:00

The Retreat House at Penn Center
Photo: Stephen Morton for The New York Times

If you ever decide to visit the Savannah/Hilton Head area, I highly recommend a visit to Penn Center, a true national treasure with a special place in Black American history that covers 150 years. It dates back to 1862 when the abolitionist Quakers from Philadelphia established a school on Saint Helena Island, South Carolina, for the purpose of educating recently freed slave children. Penn School was the first such school established in the United States. It was a labor of love for Laura Towne, who had studied medicine and education in Philadelphia and had only planned to stay at the school as its instructor for about ten years as a volunteer. She remained there for thirty-nine years until her death. The Penn Center museum notes her legacy with her meticulous records of her students and their progress and development with excerpts from her diary. The school continued into the twentieth century under Hampton Institute (now Hampton University) as an industrial and agricultural high school for black men and women for over 50 years.

The school closed in 1953, but it evolved into an important community center on the island that served the needs of blacks throughout the southern counties of South Carolina. One of the most important functions of the center was to provide legal assistance for blacks to overcome shady dealings from incoming developers who sought to grab land and property from the native residents. To this day, the land titles of properties on many of the sea islands may be held by entire families instead of individuals, which can make the determination of property ownership a murky process. Penn Center helped to resolve these issues and to prevent unscrupulous developers from taking advantage of family property owners. The center continues to provide programs of education, job training and assistance for black residents today with the help of donations and volunteer efforts.

The other significant role of Penn Center was its role in the Civil Rights movement. It was a place where Martin Luther King, Jr. spent a significant amount of time on the 50-acre campus as a retreat, and he also used the facilities there for many strategy meetings with fellow members of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference. A retreat house was also built for King and his wife for lodging and as a meeting place in 1968, but he never was able to use it as he was assassinated that year. The house sits on a trail on the property facing a waterfront marsh to the west with a breathtaking view. It just might bring tears to your eyes if you ever have the opportunity to see it for yourself.

It is seldom that you will find a place like Penn Center with its magnitude of significance in American history. The campus is on Martin Luther King, Jr. Drive (SC 45) east of Beaufort, South Carolina off U.S. Highway 21 on Saint Helena Island. Here is a quick summary of Penn Center through Moon Travel Guides, or check their website for more information.

Spring Break 2011 is Coming!

2011-01-09T21:19:00.001-05:00

Spring Break 2011

A special weekend retreat for couples where you can rest, relax, renew and recharge!

AAF Relationship Conference Series: Six

Love Languages for Your Life

Hosted by Melvin & Lynn Gaines

Everyone has at least one love language. Do you know yours? Marriage counselor Dr. Gary Chapman first introduced The Five Love Languages almost 20 years ago. Today, love languages are not just for married couples…they are also relevant to family members and close interpersonal relationships, and even help us better understand how God loves us, too! Our seminar will explore all of these languages; help you to discover yours, and to look for the love language of those persons of importance to you. With your participation, this relationship seminar promises to be a fun, relaxing and fulfilling experience! Singles and married couples are welcome!

Friday, April 8 and Saturday, April 9, 2011

Country Inns and Suites By Carlson

Cuyahoga Falls

1420 Main Street • Cuyahoga Falls OH 44221

330.926.1233 • 800.596.2375

Special room rate for overnight stay (April 8) only $80.00 plus tax. When booking your room ask for the Akron Alliance Fellowship Church special rate. Please book your room reservation by Tuesday, March 1 (maximum of 4 guests per room). A free hot breakfast is available for hotel guests. Free internet • pool fitness center • comfortable amenities • newly remodeled • restaurants nearby

For more information visit akronalliance.wordpress.com or melvingaines.com

Browns Fans Wait Until Next Year...Again...For Another Coach

2011-01-03T23:48:00.000-05:00

Photo Courtesy of AP

Eric Mangini was shown the door today. The former head coach of the Cleveland Browns likely knew that he would be let go after the team's bad loss against their most bitter rivals, the Pittsburgh Steelers. He may have known as soon as a few weeks ago when the team's season took a turn for the worse. Stunning and unexpected wins were overshadowed by uninspiring, inconsistent team play and mind-boggling losses to close out the schedule.

As in any coaching change around Browns Town, the media and the fans will always provide their input. Among the comments, many believed that Mangini didn't have enough time to get the football team turned around. Many more also thought that he inherited a really bad football team when he was hired two years ago. The irony is that just less than two years prior to his hiring, the Browns had won ten games that season, barely missing the playoffs. The following year, the same roster of players essentially tanked the season. Was the talent that good and the coaching that bad, or vice versa? Probably a mixture of both. After all is said and done, however, any conclusion that is made in evaluating the performance of a coach has to start with two foundational principles...the won-loss record and the team's progression under his leadership. If the record is lousy, the team must still show a measure of progress and competitiveness on the field. The level of the talent on the roster is important, but even great players need effective coaching, direction and motivation.

Mangini lost his job because both of his Browns teams finished with 5 wins and 11 losses. Last year's 5-11 team, however, was different from this year's 5-11 team. Last year's team started 1-11 and won their last 4 games, including a stunning 13-6 upset victory over the Pittsburgh Steelers, which knocked the Steelers out of the playoff race. The team was playing better each week, arguably with players that were originally not even starters or on the original roster. This year, with more talent on the roster than last year's team, albeit with a tougher overall schedule, the Browns started slow but had tremendous victories over playoff-bound New Orleans and New England. Just when everyone believed that the team had improved, the Browns inexplicably stumbled and lost their last 4 games this year (two losses were against bad Cincinnati and Buffalo teams), and would have lost to the worst team in the league, Carolina, if not for an assist from a goalpost upright. There was no measurable progression from last year to this year, especially at the end of the season, where the Browns were embarrassed by the Steelers at home, 41-9.

No one expected the Browns to make the playoffs this year. Even the most casual fans, however, want to see a team compete on the field week after week, and not play down to the competition. Unfortunately, Mangini's team either ran out of gas at the end or lost their competitive edge...either way, that's not a team getting better...that's regression. Team President Mike Holmgren believed that the Browns should have won more this season. I agree. As much as I hate that fact that Mangini was let go after two years, there's something to be said about his track record with the New York Jets and now with Cleveland, where he made progress only to have his teams fade late in the season.

Should Mangini have had more time? After weighing the evidence, one is hard pressed to defend a coach whose team was moving on a downward trend. In today's NFL, coaching mediocrity will usually keep them employed. Bad records and a lack of progress won't. It was time to make a change. Here's hoping that Holmgren's next hire will stop the maddening changes of head coaches in Cleveland.

Copyright © Melvin Gaines. For more content, please see melvingaines.com and melvingaines.blogspot.com.

A Fanatic For Christ

2010-12-12T19:05:00.001-05:00

As the holidays approach every year, first Thanksgiving, and then the Christmas shopping season, you would have to have lived in a cave to have not seen the change in television commercials promoting sales, early hours of bargain hunting, and even stores open on Thanksgiving Day and midnight on Black Friday. The national retailers look to finish strong after a mediocre sales year with a flurry of activity, and they already know that the time and money spent in advertising is going to reach consumers that are ready, willing and able to make excuses to spend money! It’s time to go Christmas shopping to get out of the doldrums. I want to save money, so I need to spend money! You know the drill.

The retailers spend money for advertising because they anticipate that their potential customers will resemble the woman in the red jump suit who is working out at the store lifting packages with one arm as if they are barbells, circling the dates on a calendar in anticipation of Black Friday for an early morning shopping fest while she flexes her muscles. She also screams with delight as she reads the circular loaded with deals. The stores want to see you spend money during the Christmas season as if you are in a state of frenzy. They want shopping fanatics.

A fanatic, by the way, does not mean that you have to have a screw loose or that you are missing a few cards from the deck. A fanatic means that you are a person who has a significant or even extreme amount of enthusiasm for something, such as in politics, or even, of course, religion. We have seen extremism associated with both politics and religion, and most of us know when that extremism goes beyond reasonable sensibilities. This is also evident when we look at fans (which is short for fanatic) of sports teams and the behaviors that are associated with being a fan. Many sports fans will readily associate alcohol with being a fan, and we know that it doesn’t often end well when there is too much booze for sports fans.

I’m a sports fan, for sure. I also love to watch college football, and I also love roller skating, and I’m a big fan of my wife, of course! But all of those subjects, even my wife, have to be viewed from the proper perspective. My passion for life itself must be derived from the one that gives the reason for me to be passionate for life…this is the zeal for Jesus Christ that every Christian should experience.
My point to all of this is that you do not have to be crazy to be a fanatic. You can be a fanatic for Christ, for example, and not be characterized as a Bible Thumper, or as a Holy Roller, or “Goody Two Shoes,” or some other term that implies more of what are perceived as negative character traits than positive ones. You can be a fanatic for Christ by living enthusiastically, positively, and pointedly for all of the things that Christ represents.

Please note that, while I have nothing against the word “fan,” the shortened version of the word “fanatic,” the two words come across with different interpretations. To be a fan of something is OK, such as a fan of a musician or of a sports team, while being a fanatic implies even more of a commitment and a passion for something. Given this conclusion, is your commitment to Christ more of that as a fan, or is it more like a fanatic for Christ?

When you have a healthy relationship with God through Jesus Christ, you can begin to see what it really means to be a fanatic for Christ. Our challenge, especially as we are reminded over and over during the Christmas season about how Jesus is the reason for the season, is to see Christ in such a way where, to the average Christian, He means more to that person than just that of a favorite football team or sports figure…more than a favorite band or artist…more than an actor or performer. The name of Jesus should fire you up in such a way where His name truly is above every name!

How do we capture that zeal, that passion for Christ that is missing at times? The answer is in our relationship with Christ. Our relationship with Christ will determine how we live and breathe for Christ, which others will see in our actions as we live for Christ at a high level. Our life for Christ, in our relationship with Christ, helps us to build and develop relationships with others through Christ, and wins people over to Christ! It is all accomplished through the power of the Holy Spirit, but we must always remember that the Spirit works through the believer that trusts in Him and relies upon His wisdom. The love and trust for Christ is a magnet that attracts others who want to know more about Him directly to you!

To be a fanatic for Jesus Christ requires repetition and practice of an effective Christian lifestyle. It requires practice because we have natural opposition to this effort because of our own fleshly nature, and because Satan does not want us to be successful in this lifestyle. We have to overcome the things that are not healthy for us, especially sin, and move towards the things that create a bond with Jesus Christ.

First, being a fanatic for Christ means that we must forsake sin.

Romans 13:12-14
The night is nearly over, and the daylight is near, so let us discard the deeds of darkness and put on the armor of light. Let us walk with decency, as in the daylight: not in carousing and drunkenness; not in sexual impurity and promiscuity; not in quarreling and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no plans to satisfy the fleshly desires.

Forsaking sin means more than just turning away from it. Our attitude should be the same attitude that God has about sin. He hates it.

Psalm 5:4
For You are not a God who delights in wickedness; evil cannot lodge with You.

Just as God has nothing to do with sin, He also wants us to have the same mindset. Remember, because we are in the flesh, we must have an attitude that hates sin, because our flesh desires it greatly. We can’t have a zeal for Christ if we do not forsake sin.

Next, a fanatic for Christ must have a heart of forgiveness. Just as God has forgiven our sins because of our faith and trust in Him, we also must have a heart of forgiveness for others.

Matthew 6:14-15
For if you forgive people their wrongdoing, your heavenly Father will forgive you as well. But if you don’t forgive people, your Father will not forgive your wrongdoing.

This includes treating others the way that Christ would have you to treat them, without malice or holding grudges.

Ephesians 4:32
And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.

After forsaking sin and having a heart of forgiveness, a person who is a true fanatic for Christ is one who relishes in fellowship. There is a desire to seek out others to share the passion that you are living out in Christ. After all, it is God’s desire that each and every one of us shares the gospel with others (Matthew 28:19-20). Our fellowship in Christ through the Holy Spirit gives us the confidence and the ability to fellowship with others. Your message that you communicate to others is in line with the verses from 1 John 1:3:

1 John 1:3
What we have seen and heard we also declare to you, so that you may have fellowship along with us; and indeed our fellowship is with the Father and with His Son Jesus Christ.
The fanatic for Christ does not chase persons away in fellowship; on the contrary, he or she draws people nearer to where they are comfortable in relationships of friendship. Friendship is what allows for sharing, caring for others, and allowing the Holy Spirit to work deeply in the lives of those who are seeking the Lord.

A quick recap—a person who is a fanatic for Jesus Christ must readily forsake sin, forgive others, fellowship with others, develop friendships, and finally, focus on the strength, direction, and power of the Holy Spirit. The Spirit enables us with the ability to withstand pressures and difficulties, and also fortifies us with energy when it is most needed. Our focus, in order for the Spirit to work through us, is to listen to remain obedient to Jesus Christ’s commands:

John 14:15-16
If you love Me, you will keep My commandments. And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Counselor to be with you forever.

The Holy Spirit is always available to the believer in Jesus Christ. The more that we focus on the Spirit, the more we learn about the abundant life that we truly have in Jesus Christ. It is that life of abundance that creates the fanatic for the one who loves Jesus and lives for Jesus.

Are you a fanatic for Christ? Is your zeal for the One who gave everything for you? Think about what it truly means to live a life of enthusiasm for your Lord and Savior. It should be a life of passion where you turn away from the things that ruin your fellowship with Christ and trust in His Word.

Copyright © Melvin Gaines. For more content, please see melvingaines.com and melvingaines.blogspot.com.

Black Friday: A Celebration of Sleep Deprivation

2010-11-25T12:28:00.001-05:00

I wish I had seen the phenomenon of Black Friday when I was younger, because I could have retired long before today by getting a copyright or trademark on the name. Black Friday has evolved and morphed into more than just the first official day of the Christmas shopping season. It is now a phenomenon that is a grandiose celebration of American free enterprise and interstate commerce. That celebration comes at a price. If you are into Black Friday, you are not thinking about sleeping.

Thanksgiving Day used to be the untouchable day of rest, family get-togethers, turkey, dressing, and the related comfort food that we love, along with a Thanksgiving/Christmas kickoff parade and a couple of football games on television. Today, Black Friday is taking on a life of its own by reaching back into Thanksgiving Thursday to get everyone jacked up and into the spirit of Christmas shopping. Some retailers are even open on Thanksgiving Day, which never used to happen. Restaurants are also open on Thanksgiving because they see the shift of consumer shopping (and the profitability) on that same day as well. Christmas shopping has now evolved into a 24-hour extravaganza. If you can’t go to the store, that’s OK. Stay up late or get up early…or don’t bother to sleep at all…just log in and shop online. The retailers are there just for you waiting for your credit card information, and you may even get free shipping, too.

Retailers spend most of the year planning for this shopping season, which can easily make or break their entire year when it comes to profitability. Just as they gear up for this time, they spend a significant amount of advertising dollars getting consumers whipped up about it, especially since we have had a flat economy over the last couple of years. Just when it starts getting cold outside for most of us, they convince many people to get less and less sleep and get up earlier and earlier for deep discounts, whatever they may be. To me, when it gets cold and dark outside, I want to go to bed. When I eat turkey and dressing, I want to rest. Not for the relentless bargain hunters, though. They'll even pitch tents and sit outside stores while nearly freezing to death even BEFORE Thanksgiving Day. It borders on insanity. In all of these efforts, sleep is irrelevant, and shopping for deals is prevalent. I suppose that we need to feel good about saving money in the midst of our personal torture.

Some stores will be open at 10 pm on Thanksgiving Day, where you can shop just long enough for some stores to open at midnight on Black Friday. Then, you can take a quick food break before heading over to the grocery store in the area, which opens at 3 am. There you can stock up on your gift cards with gas discounts, just in time for the 4 am opening of another store. If you haven’t passed out yet, you can join other retailers when they open at 5 and 6 am. After this, you can become a zombie and trudge through the rest of Friday when the rest of the population converges on mall parking areas and shopping centers (drivers get interesting by that time of the day). Crowds, long lines, and people of varying levels of patience, or a lack thereof. Black Friday is now a replay of the movie of the Night of the Living Dead. You'll be numb by that time anyway. But remember...it's a celebration!

Or you can do what I do…remain a traditionalist and roll over in bed. That’s my kind of celebration.

Happy Thanksgiving and Merry Christmas!

Garfield ® is owned by Jim Davis.

Brick and Mortar Bookstores Becoming Extinct

2010-11-14T00:46:00.002-05:00

Joseph Beth Legacy Village in 2003 - Cleveland Plain Dealer file photo

A day after hearing that Joseph Beth Booksellers filed Chapter 11 Bankruptcy and that they would be closing a number of their stores by mid-December, I visited the Legacy Village store in Beachwood (near Cleveland), Ohio. The store is one of the more esthetically beautiful bookstores that you will ever visit. It has an open, airy feel with the mezzanine level looking out over the first floor, and the natural light from the windows of the south entrance flowing through the large room decorated much like a country home living room. There is also a cafe and free wifi, which is also a staple of the other larger bookstore chains. Joseph Beth, however, is a much smaller bookstore chain than the Big Two, all of whom have seen their own share of struggles to remain competitive in the age of Amazon, and now ebooks and iPads. With JB's bankruptcy filing, it will soon be closing half of its existing stores, and it's a real shame. I was mildly surprised to see the large number of customers in the store due to the news that the store would close soon. Hindsight being 20/20, it made me wonder if there could have been a difference if more people had consistently patronized the bookstore. To be honest, probably not.

The brick and mortar stores, like Joseph Beth, are slowly fading away due to the stiff, and sometimes crippling competition, of companies such as Amazon.com and even eBay, where you can easily search for and find new or sometimes used books and music for much less than items in the store (and sometimes the store items require a special order). The music section profitability with is being squeezed by iTunes convenience and more Amazon. The convenience of internet shopping has also had an adverse effect on floor traffic and store dollars spent per customer. For the most part, these stores have done just about everything that they can to remain relevant. You can only do so much, however, to control inventory and prices. Too little inventory will drive a customer to the internet. Too much inventory will squeeze tight profit margins away. As internet shopping increases every year, these stores must also be more internet friendly to their customers and use both in-store and online purchases to maintain profitability.

Bookstores has evolved over the years from the small, quiet street shops where you could browse for titles in quaint, narrow isles of bookcases to the larger boxes in enclosed malls to today's version of the book superstore with music, magazines, gifts, and a coffee shop under one roof. Today's stores are the most user-friendly for this generation of book lovers. They are geared for both the traditional hard cover readers as well as the younger ebook readers, and almost everyone who patronizes these stores will take advantage of their late hours or use of the wifi in the coffee shop to do research or web surf. They're even a great place to meet someone for the first time. For me, the bookstore is a place of refuge and even nostalgia. It really is a place where time can stand still, at least for a little while, and where you can enjoy the experience. There is nothing that can replace the experience of sitting in a comfortable chair reading one of your favorite books, or sitting at a cafe with the sound of a cappuccino machine in the background as you browse over a few travel books or magazines.

I hope that all of the bookstore lovers will see the importance of supporting the remaining stores to the best of their ability. We want to keep them, and their employees who need the work, open as long as possible, before they go the way of the mimeograph or the electric typewriter.

Copyright © Melvin Gaines. For more content, please see melvingaines.com and melvingaines.blogspot.com.

"No One Can Judge Me" - A Christian Cop Out

2010-10-10T15:28:00.000-04:00

Living the Christian lifestyle is hardly an easy task—in fact, it is very difficult to get it right some of the time, and it is almost impossible to go from day to day without stumbling under a transgression or two. That being said, it is easy to overcome these difficulties as God has made the permanent provision for forgiveness of sin through a belief in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. As we exercise our free will, our declaration of faith keeps us in a healthy fellowship with God.

We also, in contrast, can make the conscious decision to live a life that dances on the edge of fellowship with God—somewhere between sincere repentance on an occasional basis (most likely when things are not going well in life) and going from ride to ride in the Carnal Carnival. If that seems like a wide swath between borderline to very bad behavior, you’re correct—it is. A very good analogy to this can be seen as a comparative to the intent found in Scripture in Matthew 7:13-14.

Matthew 7:13-14
“Enter through the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the road is broad that leads to destruction, and there are many who go through it. How narrow is the gate and difficult the road that leads to life, and few find it.”

Note that this verse, which is referring to the pathway to the entrance to the Kingdom of God, has a consistent correlation with a person’s life decisions. Is it fair to conclude that those who choose to live for Christ are willing to do so with the reverence as to whom Jesus Christ are the few, and others that choose not to follow Christ and make decisions to go their own way are the many?

Speaking of the few and the many, there are many Christians, people who proclaimed that they are saved by grace, who are living a dangerous existence. These so called believers are bent on living on the edge—living in the world and also of the world—proclaiming Jesus during the day and creeping around at night. This is not a criticism or characterization to the few believers that have moments of weakness, repent, and maintain a regular fellowship with God because their attitudes are based in the sincere desire to seek Jesus and please Him with obedience. Well, what about those who are either part-time church attendees or outside of this fellowship? I am speaking, in fact, calling out the double-minded persons who profess Christ and, at the same time, summarize their overall behavior with the infamous comments, “Well, God made me that way!” or, “Nobody’s perfect!” or, “No one can judge me!” Really?

The distinction needs to be made about this behavior to encourage those who are seeking God with sincerity of heart and those who are play-acting their Christianity, because it is very important for each of us to remain focused on the commands of Christ, and to admonish those who are clearly not doing so. Scripture addresses this very clearly with stipulations if the person involved is in the body of fellowship, and your conclusion of the matter will have the endorsement of Christ Himself:

Matthew 18:15-18
“If your brother sins against you, go and rebuke him in private. If he listens to you, you have won your brother. But if he won’t listen, take one or two more with you, so that by the testimony of two or three witnesses every fact may be established. If he pays no attention to them, tell the church. But if he doesn’t pay attention even to the church, let him be like an unbeliever and a tax collector to you. I assure you: Whatever you bind on earth is already bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth is already loosed in heaven.”

1 Corinthians 5:9-13
I wrote to you in a letter not to associate with sexually immoral people. I did not mean the immoral people of this world or the greedy and swindlers or idolaters; otherwise you would have to leave the world. But now I am writing you not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer who is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or verbally abusive, a drunkard or a swindler. Do not even eat with such a person. For what business is it of mine to judge outsiders? Don’t you judge those who are inside? But God judges outsiders. Put away the evil person from among yourselves.

More about judging within the body later. One more verse:

2 Thessalonians 3:6
Now we command you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, to keep away from every brother who walks irresponsibly and not according to the tradition received from us.

The believer who utters the defensive comment “God made me that way!” or, “Nobody’s perfect!” or, “No one can judge me!” is what I refer to as a “Christian cop out.” With the basic understanding of what it means to be a Christian, note the reason for using the “cop out” term. A simple definition of “cop out” is to avoid taking responsibility for an action, avoid fulfilling a duty or responsibility, or to fail to live up to expectations (Wikipedia). It is to perform in an insufficient, negligent, or superficial manner (Wiktionary).

A cop out, in this application, does not apply in philosophy to the non-believer. 1 Corinthians 5:9-13 affirms this. A non-believer is only going to behave according to where he or she is accustomed; therefore, it is expected that a non-believer will behave in a worldly manner. A Christian, on the other hand, takes on the additional responsibility of living in obedience and reverence for Jesus Christ. The expectations are vastly different for a believer’s behavior over a non-believer’s behavior. Interestingly, even non-believers have that same expectation of believers. They can tell the difference, and they know the difference between believers and non-believers, and it is the differences in behavior that can eventually lead non-believers to become believers.

Why am I picking on believers that are Christian Cop Outs? For three reasons…

To identify these persons and their behavior for what it is—inconsistent in fellowship with Jesus Christ and a poor testimony to believers and non-believers alike.

Their philosophical views will invariably allow for worldly viewpoints and philosophies to filter into the church and the body of Christ.

To denounce this philosophy as a dangerous cat-and-mouse game with one’s Christian faith and with others who could be won for Christ.

First, let’s address one of the comments that may come forth as a Christian cop out—for example, “No one can judge me,” or “You can’t judge me.” These comments are born out of a scriptural reference, and of course, it is taken out of context for the purpose of justification of one’s behavior (a cop out).

Matthew 7:1-5
“Do not judge, so that you won’t be judged. For with the judgment you use, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye but don’t notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ and look, there’s a log in your eye? Hypocrite! First take the log out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.”

Be mindful, however, on what prompts the first 5 verses…look at verse 6:

Matthew 7:6
“Don’t give what is holy to dogs or toss your pearls before pigs, or they will trample them with their feet, turn, and tear you to pieces.”

Also, remember the narrow gate in verses 13 and 14, and look at verses 15 and 16 of Matthew, Chapter 7:

Matthew 7:15-16
“Beware of false prophets who come to you in sheep’s clothing but inwardly are ravaging wolves. You will recognize them by their fruit.”

It is clear that in order for us to make a conclusion about someone or something, we have to make a judgment. Scripture is providing us examples of persons to be wary of, especially the false teacher or prophet that intentionally deceive others to accomplish his or her goals. In this context, the verses in Matthew Chapter 7 warn against hypocrisy, but there is nothing in scripture that claims we should never judge someone. In reality, we do it all of the time as we make our best efforts to live our lives in righteousness:

Proverbs 31:9
Speak up, judge righteously, and defend the cause of the oppressed and needy.

Luke 17:3
“Be on your guard. If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and comes back to you seven times, saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”

John 7:24
“Stop judging according to outward appearances; rather, judge according to righteous judgment.”

One may argue that to judge someone means to condemn him or her as if you were God. Your response would be that it is true that God sets the standard and will pass judgment at the appropriate time. You are the bearer of the information on behalf of God. If the Spirit moves you to speak and provide this information, let it flow.

Psalm 119:11-13
I have treasured Your word in my heart so that I may not sin against You. Lord, may you be praised; teach me Your statutes. With my lips I proclaim all the judgments from Your mouth.

Therefore, with this evidence, the believer’s comment, “You can’t judge me” is defiant in nature and is in direct contrast to the very nature of a believer dying to self and living for Christ:

2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation; old things have passed away, and look, new things have come.

Which brings me to our first reason for identifying this philosophical cop out for what it is—an inconsistent walk with Christ and a poor testimony for all to observe. It is easy to see that the lifestyle will not match the spoken words of a person in spiritual conflict. There is no sincere effort to take God’s Word to heart and to break free from the ways of the world. No one can take what you say seriously because it can’t be supported by where you go, who you choose to hang out with, or how you dress.

Inconsistency in your life comes from instability in your thought process. It comes from failure to seek God’s wisdom through prayer and study of His Word.

James 1:5-8
Now if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives to all generously and without criticizing, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith without doubting. For the doubter is like the surging sea, driven and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect anything from the Lord. An indecisive man is unstable in all his ways.

Next point—Christian cop out behavior encourages compromise of the faith by allowing sinful behavior to be the norm rather than the exception. There is division within the body of Christ because of the foothold gained, for example, by advocates of the homosexual lifestyle. Rather than stand up for what God’s Word proclaims, many believers “cop out” and remain silent on areas where God has been clear with scriptural doctrine on this and similar subjects. While proponents of the homosexual lifestyle advocate tolerance, God declares that He loves the person but hates the sin. Many in the body of Christ fear derisive comments and reprisal from those who support alternate lifestyles, and, as a result, claim that it is OK to allow such doctrine in our churches. The backlash from a lack of acceptance comes from the deception of Satan himself. To cop out is to shrink from your responsibility as a believer in Jesus Christ. God has declared that we have a responsibility that must be fulfilled:

2 Timothy 2:19
Nevertheless, God’s solid foundation stands firm, having this inscription: The Lord knows those who are His, and everyone who names the name of the Lord must turn away from unrighteousness.

As in any area where sin is present, God wants us to remain in the world but not of the world, and to be prayerful to Him to give the proper response, when called upon, at the appropriate time. God’s Word is never to be compromised by His people—it is to be communicated, corroborated (supported with evidence or authority, and clarified (made as easy to understand as possible). This leads to our third point with a cautionary verse:

Matthew 7:21-23
“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord!’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of My father in heaven. On that day many will say to Me, ‘Lord, Lord, didn’t we prophesy in Your name, drive out demons in Your name, and do many miracles in Your name?’ Then I will announce to them, ‘I never knew you! Depart from Me, you lawbreakers!’”

What does this mean? Just because someone is giving the appearance to serve the Lord and acting on His behalf does NOT mean that this person has been saved by grace and will inherit eternal life. To live as a Christian cop out artist is to play a dangerous game with your soul and with the lives of others within your sphere of influence. Why? If your life as a believer is so easily thwarted by the desires of the flesh and worldly behavior, it is a clear indication that there is a lack of confidence in the power of the Holy Spirit through the presence of Christ in your life. Please understand that the comment about your soul is not implying that you would lose your salvation. It does refer, however, to how you are testing to see how far you can go outside of God’s will for your life before you become an apostate, which is one who ultimately denies Jesus Christ and faith in Him as your Lord and Savior. If your behavior cannot be distinguished from that of an unbeliever, you are on what I would characterize as “spiritual life support.” While you may think you are doing just fine, in reality, your spiritual heart is barely beating and is likely being kept alive by the prayers and petitions of others who are concerned for your well-being. The more that one practices sin, and becomes comfortable with it, the less likely that the same person will seek the Lord in repentance. One dire excuse that can be seen as a cop out is that one’s sin is the result of “bad breaks” or “God coming down on me.” This is another great deception and another game that one will play to see how far one can go in their so-called fellowship with Christ. God will not be mocked by such foolishness.

James 1:13-15
No one undergoing a trial should say “I’m being tempted by God,” for God is not tempted by evil, and He Himself doesn’t tempt anyone. But each person is tempted when he is drawn away and enticed by his own evil desires. Then after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin, and when sin is fully grown, it gives birth to death.

It also stands to reason that a person who declares they know the Lord and yet continues to abide in sinful behavior may very well not be saved to begin with. Consider this scriptural litmus test:

1 John 2:3-4
This is how we are sure that we have come to know Him (Jesus): by keeping His commands. The one who says, “I have come to know Him,” without keeping His commands is a liar, and the truth is not in him. But whoever keeps His word, truly in him the love of God is perfected. This is how we know we are in Him: the one who says he remains in Him should walk just as He walked.

A Christian can never cop out when he or she is faithful and obedient to God’s Word…while it is true to say that none of us are perfect, it is not an excuse to sin and remain into sin. We have the ability to make the decision to turn from sin and focus on the best that God has in store for us because the Holy Spirit gives us the ability to succeed in Christ and overcome any temptation that we face. We must be our own advocates of remaining faithful to Jesus Christ and not make any excuses for our behavior.

Ecclesiastes 12:13-14
When all has been heard, the conclusion of the matter is: fear God and keep His commands, because this is for all humanity. For God will bring every act to judgment, including every hidden thing, whether good or evil.

Copyright © Melvin Gaines. For more content, please see melvingaines.com and melvingaines.blogspot.com.

Rush Hour is Risky Business

2010-09-27T21:24:00.002-04:00

Photo by Joshua Gunter / The Cleveland Plain Dealer

Maybe it's just me, but I have observed that rush hour traffic in the outerbelt freeways of Cleveland is much more difficult to navigate today than in previous years. I have observed more instances of aggressive, if not careless driving, and the number of courteous drivers on the road have dwindled greatly. This combination seems to have also led to a greater frequency of fender benders, as well, although a major contributor to these types of accidents almost certainly is distracted driving. I also don't care much for drivers that move too slowly within the flow of traffic. No one should have to jam on their brakes on a freeway because a driver in front is moving along at a pace that requires a sundial instead of a stopwatch.

For a little while, as a game, I would observe and count the number of drivers in passing vehicles (or cars that I would pass because they were driving so slowly) who were on their cell phones. On some occasions, it was one out of every three drivers that was on the phone. One day, it was actually an average of one out of every two drivers. Now, I am not in favor of banning cell phones while driving--I have concerns with the constitutional ramifications of intrusion upon our personal liberties. I believe that common sense in the proper use of cell phones is about personal responsibility. At least the cell phone drivers are most often looking at the road when they are driving. The really dangerous drivers are the ones who decide to look down at their phones while hurtling down the road at 60 plus miles per hour. Seeing a texter at work in a fast-moving vehicle will quicken your heartbeat, for sure. Couple this behavior with the self-centered, aggressive drivers who insist on driving on the bumper of the vehicle in front of them, or those who don't merge into lanes...they change lanes in an attack mode...and you have all of the makings of a potential nightmare. It is definitely through God's grace that there is not more carnage on the freeways at any given time of the day--let alone rush hour. None of this missive includes people who still insist on disdaining the use of a designated driver and getting behind the wheel while impaired.

About two and a half years ago, I was in a serious automobile accident on I-480 that I was able to miraculously walk away from without any injuries. It was, unquestionably, God's protection that kept me safe. My car was rear-ended on I-480 by an 18-wheeler carrying a load of steel that collided into at least one other truck behind me. It pushed both of us at least a couple hundred feet along the expressway, and my car into a van in front of me that was sent careening off the highway. As a result of this accident, I am extremely aware of my surroundings when I am on the road. I don't care much for the large truck sightings in the rear view mirror, but God has been gracious to keep me from experiencing a lot of discomfort while driving. I have to drive to work like most people, and I cover several miles of highway daily; therefore, it's good to be able to handle the task. I sometimes, however, have to catch myself to avoid getting very angry at those drivers who are not focused on the road or who are overly aggressive. My temper is definitely shorter than it used to be--most likely because I am a little nervous about getting into another accident and witnessing too much stupidity to bear at that given moment. I also seem to witness at least one damage accident on the road each day. To see a crash at least once a day doesn't make me feel any better, but it does help me to appreciate that I could have been in that same accident if I had not been delayed before getting on the road or if I had not left home or work earlier than my normal departure time. I will never discount God's presence, even in protection.

I don't expect that driving rush hour will be anything enjoyable in the future--it will be much like a chore, for sure. It doesn't have to be a dreadful experience, either. I wish people would be more considerate of others by just paying attention to the road and less attention to their electronics. Driving used to be enjoyable, but it has become less about transportation and more about self-preservation.

Thanks for slowing down a little.

Copyright © Melvin Gaines. For more content, please see melvingaines.com and melvingaines.blogspot.com.

Your Faith Is On Trial--Are You a Good Witness?

2010-08-21T21:05:00.002-04:00

This past week I had to take part in a court proceeding involving a former employee and the company that I work for. The former employee is suing the company for wrongful termination, and I was her final supervisor when she was terminated. This court proceeding has evolved into a significant undertaking for everyone associated with it, including our Human Resources group, where there has been ongoing gathering of emails, file notes, disciplinary action records and employee appraisals as part of the preparation for this trial.

I was told about three weeks ago that I needed to prepare for a deposition since I was a key witness in what had transpired leading up to the dismissal of the former employee. It is interesting to be on the “defendant” side of a trial. With all of the information gathering and the review of documentation, I had more than enough time to think about the case. I tried to separate my emotional reaction from the facts, but my first impression was that the plaintiff’s attorneys were definitely looking for ways to discredit me and my abilities and capabilities as a supervisor, and I understood that because I was the opponent. The first fifteen minutes of questions that I received during the deposition were much like those in an interview, for they discussed my past experience and my job history. In discovery, the opposition will pull any available information about who you are, and will even do a search on the Internet to see what comes up. In the scope of witness testimony, all of this is fair game.

I didn’t like it, of course, but I had to spend a fair amount of time in preparation for the deposition. I was prepped on the facts of the lawsuit, the questions that would likely be asked, and the possibility that all of this would likely take the majority of the day. All of this preparation and anticipation of being deposed made for a few days of stress and evenings of a lack of rest.

It made me also think about what it would be like to be summoned to appear at a trial pertaining to Christianity—how would I prepare, and what would I say? That is a question for all of us. If you were to be deposed in a trial pertaining to your support or defense of Christianity, how would you fare? I learned a great deal about the deposition process, its level of preparation and the actual event, and my contention is that it is a significant test of your abilities and your energy as you go through the process. Your answers to questions will have an important part of the outcome of the trial. In a like manner, if you were asked questions about your faith and trust in Jesus Christ as your personal Savior, your answers should reflect in a positive manner as to how you are walking with Christ and living for Him.

In order to be able to cut through all of the different religions and thought processes that the world presents to those who are curious about God, it is very important for believers in Jesus Christ to be articulate and well-versed when speaking about faith matters. There is a verse in Jude that addresses believers about this very issue.

Jude 3-4
Dear friends, although I was eager to write you about our common salvation, I found it necessary to write and exhort you to contend for the faith that was delivered to the saints once for all. For certain men, who were designated for this judgment long ago, have come in by stealth; they are ungodly, turning the grace of our God into promiscuity and denying our only Master and Lord, Jesus Christ.

Here, Jude is making the point that all believers have salvation by the grace of Jesus Christ, but it is very important to make a demonstrated effort to contend, or speak up, about their faith to others. When one is a contender, he or she is speaking up in opposition to someone or something. Jude makes the statement to contend for the faith because there was an element of opposition—firmly established deceivers in their midst whose sole purpose was to deny Jesus Christ and to keep people from recognizing and accepting Jesus Christ as Savior.

Ephesians 6:10-13
Finally, be strengthened by the Lord and by His vast strength. Put on the full armor of God so that you can stand against the tactics (or schemes, or tricks) of the Devil. For our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the world powers of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavens. This is why you must take up the full armor of God, so that you may be able to resist in the evil day, and having prepared everything, to take your stand.

This threat of the forces of evil is ever-present today in that there are many different messages that continually pull unsuspecting people, who are searching for the truth, in many different directions, and most of them are far from the truth of salvation in Jesus Christ. The deception comes in many ways, but the end result is that there is no need to trust Christ as Savior because one believes he or she is good enough to make it to heaven on their own, or there has to be more than one way to be with God other than through Christ. People will forsake God for their own pleasures and desires believing that there is no consequence for their actions, while others will believe that there is no eternal punishment for their life after death. In addition, for the believer who is weak in knowledge and in their faith, deceivers are ready to pull them away to the “flavor-of-the-month” religion that may look and sound good on the surface but turn out to be a disastrous road to destruction.

Those who are believers must not just rest only on God’s Word and claim that it alone speaks for itself. God’s Word is indeed the last word, but today’s world needs more from us as a testimony on behalf of Christ. With all of the mixed messages that come from the ongoing distortion of God’s Word due to contextual errors of interpretation, we need to be on the outlook to stand firm and contend for the faith, and, in doing so, have confidence that what we contend for is the absolute truth—the only truth that leads to one having an eternal destiny with Jesus Christ.

Even though the message of the gospel of Jesus Christ may be ever present today, always remember that the truth is elusive to those who do not know Jesus Christ.

John 18:36-38
“My kingdom is not of this world,” said Jesus. “If My kingdom were of this world, My servants would fight, so that I wouldn’t be handed over to the Jews. As it is, My kingdom does not have its origin here.”
“You are a king then?” Pilate asked.
“You say that I’m a king,” Jesus replied. “I was born for this, and I have come into the world for this: to testify to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth listens to My voice.”
“What is truth?” said Pilate.

The deception of Satan is effective—it prevents people from seeking the truth of Jesus Christ and asking the question “What is truth?” just as Pilate did, without finding the answer. The truth starts with our message of the love of Jesus Christ. We must step out on our faith and proclaim the gospel of Christ to effectively counter the efforts of Satan.

Going back to my discussion on the deposition process, there are areas of importance that are strikingly similar to how a believer in Christ must make a case in contending for the faith.
First, a witness for Christ must have credibility. In order to be taken seriously as a believer in Jesus Christ, you must live your life in such a way that your statements for Christ will not be called into question. Your life must have evidence of being different than those who live in the world. It is OK to be in the world, for that is our field of harvest for those who need to know Christ, but we are not to live as the world does. If we live as the world does, our testimony for Jesus Christ has no teeth—it lacks credibility. I would not be credible witness for Christ if I lived sinfully and was unrepentant in my behavior. Your effort to win others for Christ begins with an effective testimony as a credible witness.

Next, along with credibility, there must be a presence of Christ in your life as you live in God’s will through the Holy Spirit. The credibility of your outward testimony is reinforced by your actions as you operate in the Spirit.

James 2:21-24
Wasn’t Abraham our father justified by works when he offered Isaac his son on the altar? You see that faith was active together with his works, and by works, faith was perfected. So the Scripture was fulfilled that says, Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him for righteousness, and he was called God’s friend. You see that a man is justified by works and not by faith alone.

Your true testimony to others is a Christ-like lifestyle, where people can see evidence of your faith as you navigate through a difficult and complex world each day. The attributes of having respectful behavior, even in the midst of your enemies, reflects an attitude that some will not understand, while others will observe your actions in utter amazement and want to know how you manage to live in such a way. When the time is right, the Spirit will give you the words, and the testimony.

After credibility and presence comes preparation. To be an effective witness in a trial requires preparation. In my case, it was a full six hours of questions, reviewing of documents, and role-playing with our attorneys. It was long and tiring, but it was necessary. Without it, I would not have been ready for the questions from the opposing attorney. A believer in Jesus Christ can only remain effective in his testimony with ongoing preparation through prayer and study of God’s Word. We are all still learning and living more about God each and every day, and we will continue to do so until we are no longer living. We can only share our experiences with others on how God has blessed us, kept us, and preserved us for this ministry as long as we remain in fellowship with Him and His Word. We never stop learning about Him and we never stop seeking Him and His truth for as long as we live. This is our life preparation as we can truly share with others the wisdom of God through Jesus Christ and how we can successfully live for Christ—even when the world around us seems to be falling apart. We need to be prepared for whatever comes our way…

2 Timothy 3:12-17
In fact, all those who want to live a godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted. Evil people and imposters will become worse, deceiving and being deceived. But as for you, continue in what you have learned and firmly believed, knowing those from whom you learned, and that from childhood you have known the sacred Scriptures, which are able to instruct you for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is inspired by God and is profitable for teaching, for rebuking, for correcting, for training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work.

In our presentation on behalf of Jesus Christ, it is important to focus on the leadings of the Holy Spirit. In a testimony, you need to listen very carefully to the questions of the opposing attorney. You need to be clear with your answers by stating “yes” or “no,” and also speak clearly in order to be well understood by those present, especially the court stenographer. If you are unsure of the question, you can ask the attorney to repeat or rephrase the question, or even ask the court stenographer to read back what was said. All of this requires a lot of focus on what is being said. This is quite an ordeal if your deposition takes five and one-half hours! My point is that your focus on how God leads you is very important in your efforts to lead others to Christ. Focus on the Holy Spirit, who has perfect timing in this area. Your words are ordered through the Spirit, but it is God’s Word that is the key to salvation. Our focus should always be on the power of God’s Word and proclaiming it with confidence:

Romans 1:16
For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is God’s power for salvation to everyone who believes, first to the Jew, and also to the Greek. For in it God’s righteousness is revealed from faith to faith, just as it is written: The righteous will live by faith.

Finally, your testimony through the Holy Spirit will always come from the foundation of truth.

John 14:16-17
“And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Counselor to be with you forever. He is the Spirit of truth. The world is unable to receive Him because it doesn’t see Him or know Him. But you do know Him, because He remains with you and will be in you.”

John 16:13-15
“When the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all the truth. For He will not speak on His own, but He will speak whatever He hears. He will also declare to you what is to come. He will glorify Me, because He will take from what is Mine and declare it to you. Everything the Father has is Mine. This is why I told you that He takes from what is Mine and will declare it to you.”

When testifying in a court proceeding, you are asked to raise your hand and ‘swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God.’ (Yes, they still do that.) Your testimony in a courtroom is to always deal with the facts. The facts are not subject to interpretation. Facts are facts, and the truth is the truth. Your credibility and believability are at stake when you are giving testimony, and truth should always be at the forefront of what is being stated. When it comes to your living testimony of God’s Word, there is no better place to be than in the truth of the gospel and its message.

Your faith is on trial each and every day. Remember that the enemy is counting on those who profess to be followers of Christ to be languishing in their sin and to be ineffective witnesses for Christ. We can no longer afford to be ill prepared for battle. We must operate in the full armor of God with credibility, presence, preparation, focus, and truth. With all of these, in Jesus Christ, we will be victorious in life and in our testimony. Thanks to God for the ability to serve Him in such a mighty way!

Copyright © Melvin Gaines. For more content, please see melvingaines.com and melvingaines.blogspot.com.

Living Through the Age of Deception

2010-07-19T21:20:00.000-04:00

This is a complete text of the Sunday morning message Love Will Endure to the End presented on April 20, 2008 at Akron Alliance Fellowship Church, Akron, Ohio.

If there is nothing else that you can say about the world that we live in today, you can conclude without much debate from anyone else that we are living in a time of great uncertainty. The news from the neighborhood to the greater community, from Ohio, and across the nation is very relevant to us, and it has mostly been of a dubious nature. The instability of our economy coupled with demands for greater taxes, massive job losses along with people being displaced because they are losing their homes have created a new age of nomadic movement and introspection as to what will happen next. We are also now seeing the bad fruits of the undereducated in our society because of the increase of property crimes and armed robberies, along with illegal drug activity that can now be found in varying degrees in every single community. Notice that these are matters that are compounded with the rapidly accelerating moral decline in our society, where it is becoming more commonplace and “accepted” to have open discussions about sex, and there are more reported cases of sexual deviancy that are being brought out in the open. The moral standards of right and wrong are no longer absolute in our society. The lines between the two have been blurred, or they have been altogether flip-flopped. We are living in the age of uncertainty, and its nickname is the Age of Deception.

With all of the uncertainty that is ever-present today, the world may be bracing itself for the next disaster or calamity. For those of us who have the saving grace of Jesus Christ and the insight of His Word through the Holy Spirit, there is nothing that is going on today that should be peculiar to us. We need to take the events of today seriously and look beyond the physical nature of today’s political and economic environment. Look at these reminders in Scripture as to how we can be thrown off course and pay attention to the wrong things because of the appearance of present and future events:

Matthew 24:4-12
Then Jesus replied to them: “Watch out that no one deceives you. For many will come in My name, saying, ‘I am the Messiah,’ and they will deceive many. You are going to hear of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not alarmed, because these things must take place, but the end is not yet. For nation will rise up against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines (or epidemics) and earthquakes in various places. All these events are the beginning of birth pains. “Then they will hand you over for persecution, and they will kill you. You will be hated by all nations because of My name. Then many will take offense, betray one another and hate one another. Many false prophets will rise up and deceive many. Because lawlessness will multiply, the love of many will grow cold.

The root of all of these visible events, which include the earthquakes, the famines, people starving to death, the crime and the hatred of people against people, has an underlying element of the unseen – it is the presence of deception. These are the deceptive practices of Satan and his numerous evil associates. Please note that it is not only Satan who will be attempting to deceive us, but anyone who does not follow the Lord…

Ephesians 6:12
For our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the world powers of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavens.

The level of deception is enormous in its scope is ever-present today (in the news and in the media), and it will intensify as time goes along because we will see that many people who are peaceful and who preach tolerance will turn away from love (as noted in Matthew 24-10) and will become argumentative and contentious because of what is happening in the world, and there will be even more deception of the truth. There will be extreme paranoia, mistrust will be rampant, and lawlessness will be prevalent through this day and in the future. Those that do not follow the Lord will be empowered by Satan himself to promote the contention and deception in this world.

Should we be concerned that there will be believers in this group of people that will be deceived and that will turn from love, peace and the truth? Jesus does not make a stipulation that it will only be unbelievers that will be deceived. It will be those that do not hold to the truth that they know and that will turn from the faith. The very act of taking offense (as noted earlier) is to be provoked or aggravated into a response. When Jesus speaks of the love of many growing cold, it is referring to how believers will be moved away from the faith because they will be provoked or aggravated away from what they had been taught to be the truth and in following Jesus Christ. What we must remember (and always realize) is that it is not in our own strength that we can remain true to Jesus Christ, but in the strength and enabling of the Holy Spirit. We cannot resist provocation on our own accord. Deception of the believers is an issue today and is likely to occur in the future, but this is nothing new.

Deuteronomy 13:1-4
“If a prophet or someone who has dreams arises among you and proclaims a sign or wonder to you, and that sign or wonder he has promised you comes about, but he says, ‘Let us follow other gods,’ which you have not known, ‘and let us worship them,’ do not listen to that prophet’s words or to that dreamer. For the Lord your God is testing you to know whether you love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul. You must follow the Lord your God and fear Him. You must keep His commands and listen to His voice; you must worship Him and remain faithful to Him.”

Matthew 24:24
False messiahs and false prophets will arise and perform great signs and wonders to lead astray, if possible, even the elect.

If you look up the word “elect” in the dictionary, one of the definitions under the noun caption will state that the elect are people specially chosen or favored by God, including those chosen for salvation.
Jesus is warning us that we need not look at the signs of the events of this world that take our focus off of the Lord. The Scripture states that God Himself is love, and when we turn away from the love of God and remove our focus from Him.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy; is not boastful; is not conceited; does not act improperly; is not selfish; Is not provoked; does not keep a record of wrongs; finds no joy in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
The test that we have in these times is the ability to love one another, in spite of what we see, and to persevere and endure whatever is before us.

James 1:2-4
Consider it a great joy, my brothers, whenever you experience various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. But endurance must do its complete work, so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.

Matthew 24:13
But the one who endures to the end will be delivered.

The purpose of the endurance of the trials to focus on the Lord is to teach us and give us hope in the Lord in the face of the world’s turmoil.

Romans 15:4-6
For whatever was written before was written for our instruction, so that through our endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we may have hope. Now may the God of endurance and encouragement grant you agreement with one another, according to Christ Jesus, so that you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ with a united mind and voice.

As the Scripture states, and this is where it all begins and ends, this is a message of endurance of the hard times and the difficult times, and also a message of encouragement when we persevere in keeping our focus on Jesus. The powers of Satan have been, at present are, and will continue to be successful in getting believers off of the focus of Jesus Christ, which will only add to the turmoil of the world as it exists today and promises to be in the future. God challenges us as individuals, and as a body (in the body of Christ) to be like-minded and in agreement that Jesus Christ is the way, the truth, and the life, and that we are to glorify God and rejoice together that he has the way of escape for us because we follow Him! There will be those who will oppose us because Satan will power the opposition, but God has and will prevail over Satan. The great deceiver wants us to believe otherwise, but we must fight the deception, and hold onto the truth and love of Christ!

You must become your own advocate to determine what is true in your life, and what is not true. There is no one else that can do this successfully for you other than you. Look at what the prophet John states about love and deception and how our focus must be persistent in following God:

1 John 4:1-6
Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to determine if they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. This is how you know the Spirit of God: Every spirit who confesses that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God. But every spirit who does not confess Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist; you have heard that he is coming, and he is already in the world now. You are from God, little children, and you have conquered them, because the One who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. They are from the world. Therefore what they say is from the world, and the world listens to them. We are from God. Anyone who knows God listens to us; anyone who is not from God does not listen to us. From this we know the Spirit of truth and the spirit of deception.

To follow God means to love God and to love one another. We cannot allow our love to run cold as to do so is to turn away from God and to be disobedient to his Word. God is the essence of love and we must strive to live in His love and remain in His Word.

1 John 4:7-12
Dear friends, let us love one another, because love is from God, and everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. The one who does not love does not know God, because God is love. God’s love was revealed among us in this way: God sent His One and Only Son into the world so that we might live through Him. Love consists in this: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Dear friends, if God loved us in this way, we also must love one another. No one has ever seen God. If we love one another, God remains in us and His love is perfected in us.

Jesus also stated that to love God and love others accordingly is the greatest of the commandments in the law – the very foundation and principle of our faith.

Matthew 22:37-40
He said to him, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the greatest and most important commandment. The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commandments.”

It’s time to get serious about how we respond to God and His Word. We must progress and endure beyond the measure of a mere childlike and emotional faith. We are to now move from liquid nutrition to solid food in our understanding of God’s Word. We now must actively seek Him through His Word, and prepare to share His Word to others, for we will indeed persevere, and we will prevail as we follow Jesus Christ.

1 Corinthians 13:8, 11, 13
Love never ends. But as for prophecies, they will come to an end; as for languages, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will come to an end.
When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put aside childish things.
Now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Copyright © Melvin Gaines. For more content, please see melvingaines.com and melvingaines.blogspot.com.

For Your Consideration...Do Unto Others

2010-07-05T22:10:00.000-04:00

It normally does not require a lot of nerve to tell a waitress or manager of a restaurant if you are receiving poor service. I admit that I would readily complain if, under normal circumstances, I had received unsatisfactory service during the course of a meal. It is entirely another thing, however, if you complain about service when the circumstances surrounding that service are extraordinary. That would take a lot of nerve...and yes, there are people in the world who have a lot of nerve.

My wife, her mother and I decided to eat dinner at a local 24-hour restaurant that is famous for steakburgers and shakes. We decided to do this after trying to prepare for our own dinner at home on a very warm afternoon, but we had just experienced not one but two power outages totaling almost two hours. The restaurant had just gone through the same thing and had a staff of eight. Other restaurants in the area were not operating at all, so this was the only place in the area that was still open for business. Since the power company had declared to the manager that the power would not likely be back on until later that evening, she decided to send home three-fourths of her staff. You can imagine what happened when the power came back on earlier than expected. We were one of a group of several people that came in for dinner, and the air conditioning there was wonderfully inviting. I told my wife that we made it in just in time before the customers began to stream in.

Keeping in mind that the restaurant was down to the equivalent of two servers and two cooks, including the manager, one with any amount of common sense would temper back expectations that the same service you would expect with a full staff of customers would now be considerably less than that. It's difficult to make tough decisions quickly, as she had to do, in the midst of two successive power outages. The staff that remained there was actually doing a fantastic job. They were all hustling. Was everything perfect? Of course not. Did their hustle make up for it? Absolutely.

I mention all of this because there was a couple sitting nearby that was upset with the lack of service and attention that they had received. The waitress apologized and offered to have something done once they received their meal and finished their dinner. After they received their food, they picked through it and then made their way to the register, coupon in hand, and quietly unloaded on the manager of their complete dissatisfaction with the service, and an expectation that something needed to be done about it. After making a futile effort to apologize for the service and inconvenience over the power outages and the skeleton crew that remained, she comped their meal. They left, getting what they wanted...a free meal.

It is one thing to expect great service under normal working conditions, and it is another to use a situation like this one to take advantage and get a free meal out of it. That is disingenuous and, frankly, dishonest. The entire episode that I witnessed made me very angry. I made it a point to tell the manager, who was visibly upset by the couple's allegations, that she and her staff were doing a great job. Let's give credit where credit is due and be considerate of those who are really making an effort to do great work. Isn't that what we would want for ourselves, especially when we are going through a difficult time? "Just as you want others to do for you, do the same for them" (Luke 6:31).

Copyright © Melvin Gaines. For more content, please see melvingaines.com and melvingaines.blogspot.com.

Happy Anniversary, Roller Dancer!

2010-07-05T13:04:00.000-04:00

Whew! I got this one in under the wire! July 5, 2004 at Rocky's Roller Skating Rink in Tallmadge, Ohio, was a game-changer! I'm glad that I was able to look upon you with a smile and say "hello" just before your friend was ready to body-check me for standing so close!

It looks like the fireworks on July 4 will always have a special meaning to me from now on! Thanks for being my best friend and such a great roller dancer, too!

With love,

Melvin

No Letdown with Faith in Jesus Christ

2010-06-27T21:14:00.000-04:00

I spoke to my son on the phone the other day about work and a former employer. He has always been resourceful as a full-time student and is presently working in landscaping. He had a second job at a coffee shop where he picked up hours, but he recently left that job because he learned a valuable lesson...hard work does not mean that it is always rewarded or appreciated. He told me that he had enjoyed working at the shop up until recently. He learned that not everyone is a hard worker, and that there are others who don't value a day's work for a day's pay. He also learned that not everyone that you work with is mature or responsible. While my son would never claim to be perfect (he's not), he does understand what it is to have a good work ethic and to be responsible for your actions. I told him that after only getting a five cent raise over a two year period, it was time to move on. He's doing well, and I'm very proud of him.

My conversation with my son was triggered by a discussion during Sunday school earlier today about faith. The faith that we have in others who work with us, or even many of our family members, is fragile at times. Often, our faith is greeted with disappointment when someone falls short of expectations. This does not just apply to job performance; in fact, it is more about how the human elements of jealousy, envy, and mistrust have a profoundly negative effect on interpersonal relationships. In contrast, the faith and trust that we have in Jesus Christ should be void of any disappointment, because He honors his Word when He makes His promises to us. When He proclaims that He never leaves us or forsakes us (Hebrews 13:5), He means what He says, and God's Word always says what He means. When we experience doubt in Jesus Christ and His abilities, that is on us, not Him. While we vacillate and move to and fro, He is always the same...yesterday, today and forever (Hebrews 13:8). It is important to understand that it requires supernatural ability to trust and have faith in Jesus Christ because, in our human nature, we are used to disappointment and imperfection in areas of trust. Even the best marriages have flaws within the relationship. Our strength in faith and trust is enabled by the presence of the Holy Spirit for all believers in Jesus Christ as their personal Savior. We need the Spirit to best exercise our faith, which is far beyond our human abilities.

The Holy Spirit is God's gift to all believers in faith. Remember to not let such a beautiful gift sit on the shelf. God loves us so much that He wants us to have faith and trust in Him above anything else, and He gives us the power to do so. While we face disappointment on a regular basis in the world, it should never keep us on the sidelines for too long. I'm proud of my son for moving forward and not looking back. With God's help, we can move forward and reap the rewards of being victorious in Jesus Christ.

Copyright © Melvin Gaines. For more content, please see melvingaines.com and melvingaines.blogspot.com. All rights reserved.

Protection With A Purpose

2010-06-20T19:40:00.000-04:00

The following is a summary of a sermon presented to Akron Alliance Fellowship Church on June 8, 2008.

There was a time when I used to hear a prayer to God about travel mercies and I would truly believe that it was a prayer without relevance. It’s not that I felt that it was completely unnecessary, but I was making the conclusion that such a prayer was redundant in its nature because of our reliance upon God in the areas of our life that required our worship and His grace. To pray for something specific such as travel mercy, or to get from place to place in a car or an airplane safely, just seemed all too trite. God’s ability to protect, preserve and keep us was understood, I thought. Well, it is easy to be a “Monday morning quarterback” and conclude that the thinking was incorrect (and it was), but God had to show me another lesson about His sovereign nature and how travel mercy would take on an entirely different meaning to me…after the morning of Tuesday, April 29, 2008.

Driving back home after dropping my wife off at work, the traffic on I-480 was slower than normal as I approached the construction zone, and it happened to come to a complete stop for a moment. I stopped behind a GMC SUV and noted that a Chevrolet Avalanche pulled behind me and came to a stop. As I looked forward waiting for traffic to move…three seconds later, there was this huge impact that I felt from behind…BAM!! Immediately the window glass shattered and was showered all around me throughout the car. I exclaimed out loud “WHOA!” and just gripped the steering wheel while the car was being pushed and shoved about by something that had to be large, but I could not see anything outside of the car. There was more glass breaking and metal crunching that I heard along with two more hard impacts, and, while still hanging onto the steering wheel with both hands, was pushed along for what had to be 8 to 10 seconds. In the midst of all of this, I was wondering if there was going to be a final large impact that would wipe me out. I thought to myself and impulsively thought to God asking, “Is this it?” I wasn’t freaking out about it, because there was really no time to freak out. The time was moving quickly and yet very slowly at the same time, and there was this mysterious mist that enveloped the car and prevented me from seeing anything on the outside. It was a perfectly clear and sunny day outside, yet the mist that covered my car was more like a thick fog. I just held on while the car was being pushed about…and waited for whatever was going to happen next…one way or the other.

After the longest 8 to 10 seconds, the pushing finally stopped. The fog over the car was gone in an instant, and I my hands were still gripped to the steering wheel. I looked out over the freeway off to the left, and I could see the flatbed tractor trailer that was carrying a roll of steel about 250 feet in front of me off to the left side with its driver running towards me. He ran up to the car and asked me “Are you OK? Are you alright?” I answered “I think so…” Inside my car there was glass everywhere, including on my lap in the driver’s seat and all around the front passenger areas. I opened the driver’s side door and stepped out of the car. Amazingly, I barely had a scratch on me. I was able to walk away from the car with no injuries. The driver’s side door, including the window, received no damage and remained operable. As I looked around the car, it was the only part of the car that was not damaged. The front end of the car was completely demolished from the series of collisions. The rear of the car no longer had a trunk because it was completely destroyed. The trunk compartment was pushed into the back seat of the car. The passenger side of the car, including the door, was also severely damaged. The glass in the back and on the passenger side was smashed out. The front window was cracked but it never broke, and the glass on the driver’s side (where I was sitting) never sustained even a crack. The car had literally been pushed about 150 feet from where it was to its final resting point. The truck loaded with steel, I found out later, caused the accident. The truck driver claimed to the police that he had lost his brakes, and had crashed into me along with two other vehicles. Of the four vehicles involved, my car clearly got the worst of it. The freeway was shut down for half an hour.

I called my wife with my cell phone about 2 minutes after the accident from where I was standing on the freeway and likely alarmed her at first because I was not making a lot of sense at that point. I was truly surprised and amazed that I was able to make the call to her. I told her that I was OK but the car was gone. After a few more minutes of calls to her and also to her mother while on the side of the freeway, I tried to also reassure them that I was OK and that I could likely be seen on TV because there was a helicopter overhead taking pictures for the morning news.

When the police, fire truck and ambulance arrived, the officers, firefighters and paramedics asked “were you in that car?” I told them yes and they stated, “that certainly is a testimony to how they make Saturns.” I responded “that may be, but I’m blessed and thankful to God to still be here.” They got the message, and the testimonies of God’s care and grace were now beginning for the day and would continue for several days thereafter. One of the police officers called me later to try to complete his report about the accident, and he told me that I was truly blessed. I thanked him for his kind words, and as a result of what happened that day I no longer believe that prayers for “travel mercy” are trivial and unnecessary.

What I learned from the experience was confirmation to me that God’s granting of travel mercies is part of His nature in His ongoing expression of love and care of His children. I was reminded of many things, but especially the unconditional love that God has for His people. In addition, God loves not just those people He calls His children through salvation, but also those who are not following the Lord. Each and every one of us was under that category as a human being at one time in our lives, and yet, God protected us and kept us in order to bring us to the day when we were compelled to make the decision to live for Jesus Christ. Please note that God, according to His will, desires for each and every one of us to come to the saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. Our prayers for travel mercies and general protection are valuable because they are in lockstep with God’s will for every living human being.

1 Timothy 2:1-4
First of all, then, I urge that petitions, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for everyone, for kings and all those who are in authority, so that we may lead a tranquil and quiet life in all godliness and dignity. This is good, and it pleases God our Savior, who wants everyone to be saved and to come to the knowledge of the truth.

God’s desire is for everyone to know the truth. We are to pray for believers and unbelievers, for people of high and low stature, for people who are in authority and for those who are commoners, as it is God’s will that all are to come to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. Our prayers are pleasing to God because of how much He loves us and how, when we are communicating with Him and fellowshipping with Him, we are acting in accordance to His will.

It is not a stretch to conclude; therefore, that to be alive in Jesus Christ is to be a part of the expression of God’s will for you here on earth. We are given his protection and the protection of His angels to continue to fulfill His will and purpose here on earth. For those who do not know the Lord yet, it is God’s desire for those persons to make a decision for Christ. God is longsuffering for His people, and He has demonstrated that He is patient.

2 Peter 3:8-9
Dear friends, don’t let this one thing escape you: with the Lord one day is like 1,000 years, and 1,000 years like one day. The Lord does not delay His promise, as some understand delay, but is patient with you, not wanting any to perish, but all to come to repentance.

An example of God’s longsuffering and patience with us is how God gives us His protection. He nurtures us in the midst of His protection with gentleness and kindness.

Isaiah 40:11
He protects His flock like a shepherd; He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them in the fold of His garment, He gently leads those that are nursing.

The description here reflects God as a loving and nurturing shepherd who gently leads us through the trials and tribulations of life. In turn, when we are focused on the Lord, relying on His protection, we can see His comfort and rest in Him in both the good times and the difficult times:

Psalm 23:1-6
The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I lack. He lets me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He renews my life; He leads me along the right paths for His name’s sake. Even when I go through the darkest valley, I fear no danger, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff—they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Only goodness and faithful love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord as long as I live.

We have seen God’s love and patience for us, and He preserves and protects us because He has something wonderful in store for us. We live for the incredible opportunity to worship and serve Jesus Christ. There is no greater call, and no greater honor than to be in service for Him. God not only preserves us and protects us, but gives us power through the Holy Spirit to serve Him and carry out His will.

2 Timothy 1:8-9
So don’t be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord, or of me His prisoner. Instead, share in suffering for the gospel, relying on the power of God, who has saved us and called us with a holy calling, not according to our works, but according to His own purpose and grace, which was given to us in Christ Jesus before time began.

God has given us His holy calling for His will and purpose, and amazingly, in our desire to serve Him and be in service for Him, His will and purpose become our own purpose as we, in fellowship with Him, want to do nothing more than be in His will.

Psalm 40:8
I delight to do Your will, my God; Your instruction resides within me.

We live for God because He has a purpose for us in this lifetime. He wants us to focus on Him first, and in doing so we will be “spot on” with His will and in discovering our purpose in Him.

Romans 12:1-2
Therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, I urge you to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God; this is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may discern what is the good, pleasing, and perfect will of God.

We worship the Lord with our service in whatever we do for Him, and in doing so we can discover our purpose. We only need to look to the gifts that God has given us where we can be of service to him within the body of believers; the body of Christ:

Romans 12:4-8
Now as we have many parts in one body, and all the parts do not have the same function, in the same way we who are many are one body in Christ and individually members of one another. According to the grace given to us, we have different gifts: If prophecy, use it according to the standard of faith; if service, in service; if teaching, in teaching; if exhorting, in exhortation; giving, with generosity; leading, with diligence; showing mercy, with cheerfulness.

God loves us so much that he desires for all of us to be saved and to have a relationship with Him. He holds us and keeps us with His divine gentleness and kindness, and He protects us and preserves us as He holds our lives in His hands. He gives us the number of days that He desires for us to have in His sovereign nature, and not one day less than that time as we, in our service for Him and according to His will, have fulfilled His purpose.

God’s protection is not a “guarantee” because we cannot begin to know everything about God. We can, however, be assured that God is pleased in us when we sincerely demonstrate our faith and trust in Him.

Hebrews 11:6
Now without faith it is impossible to please God, for the one who draws near to Him must believe that He exists and rewards those who seek Him.

Matthew 6:33
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you.

Ephesians 2:10
For we are His creation—created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared ahead of time so that we should walk in them.

Copyright © Melvin Gaines. For more content, please see melvingaines.com and melvingaines.blogspot.com.